prototype love.

nothing really

2007-08-15T01:59:00.000+08:00

21 january 2007.
prototype love.

that was the last time i've blogged. so many things have changed and so many things have passed.

the name was thought up by rasidah
the blog was done by warren
and those who tagged made it alive.

it was good old times.

pathetic actually, thats what i thought after reading the previous post.

goodbye to you.

2007-01-21T02:05:00.000+08:00

i feel so FUCKED UP.

MY JOB TO YOU IS DONE.

there's a hurting chapter.

2006-12-26T05:51:00.000+08:00

we were sheshaing on sundays as always.
but its gonna die down soon.
so we got off, the other dudes were too late.
but we had loads of laughs. chatted, talked and more laughs till we couldnt anymore.

so they drank alot.

we went to esplanada just to chill off.
and it was chirstmas and people were celebrating but there wasnt any real celebration. boo hoo to those who were there.
we just had too much fun.

on the way back there was this freakinglishly driver who really couldnt wait and honk his horn at the wrong person. haha.

we pointed fingers and the dude winded down his window and pointed back. he was shouted at.
and yes we were acting like street hooligans.

its always raining. and its great.

rockclimbing.
im gonna go serious. again my faded shout out to those.

who would like to join me? any takers?

AND AND AND! I GOT NEW SHOES FOR CLIMBING! aw i just love this sport.
and i need mass. im all bones.

and im acting weird.
so dont get near me if you see me.

band in note.

2006-12-22T01:18:00.000+08:00

she'll be surprised.
regardless for what its coming for.
as the chapters have been ripped apart.

BEAR THAT IN MIND.

dont call me at 3o'clock in the weee god damn hours. i'll be too busy watching dvd's and feel good movies to pick up your call.

so you waiit and wait.

the only reason that you came, looking something to break your fall.

but for real, someone to sing your lullaby.

well not anymore. you're such a sad fuck.

there, a vulgar.

we all cant wait can we.

2006-12-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

read up lukebo,

first, you come to my tagboard with no respect as yourself a humanbeing obviously not being brought up right, well nobody is perfect. i suggest you have a nice cup of shut the fuck up? it'll do you good. and fyi. im the wrong person to mess up with at this point of time.

well fuck him!

who cares about that assed up bitch.

lets go fishing!

met the boys. they're so eager. for loads of things.

im upset that manchester lost to westham.
but its okay.

against reading they might have a chance.

did nothing much today.

and im jamming tomorrow.

thats all.

read up.

suitcases wont be packed.

2006-12-17T03:19:00.000+08:00

dont come looking for me when you're in need of somebody.

today was totally unplanned. the trip to KL was canceled.
due to rockclimbing yesterday i was lethargic to do any tantalizing i guess.
so it was one's idea to be sheshaing and it spreaded like a web
from me to my friends to his friends and it goes on for the others.

it was pretty fun. we talked laughed coughed and cried.

but this was fun.

this fire is out of control! burn that shop row house burn! the roof is on fire!

the tourista the oldb and the football hooligan. h

and this is the END

sugar rushes are my best drugs.

2006-12-14T04:17:00.000+08:00

well complicating problems you're never gonna get me!

today was the randomest day of my life.

i got up at 2pm, slept back again. and got up at 4pm.

it was pretty sick for me. the weather and stuffs.

but im taking it pretty well.

and so. thanks to the kids i had a pretty bad sleep.

those little devilious kiddys.

im making up words though.

and so i had my brunch and got off after 7.

i had no idea where to go.

so i took 39 and just head to tampines.

then i saw MAN. he was going clubbing. and he's not a mat. he's in for the people.

chatted with him.

then headed down to the coffeeshop for a light snack and some teh tariks.

and hanafi was there.

then came birdy bird.

and farhan. my junior from coral.

what a catch up.

hanafi was waiting for farhan

and bird just wanted to sit there hoping someone would arrive.

its so so weird.

so we sat and chat.

i had like 4 super sweet teh tarik.

and had sugar rushes.

it was totally awesome and funny.

but i just couldnt control myself.

ha!

catch 22 - 1234 1234, that song is so totally fun to jam on.

i will get you that teddy for your birthday present!

what are friends for. [ in a good way of course ]

struggling the beats

2006-12-08T04:26:00.000+08:00

exams are dead.

had a conversation with a few mates of mine.
everybody is thinking that their grades is gonna drop.
even mine.

but. everybody is saying that the other mates wont drop but their's would.
try to get that right.

life.
its been shitty but i dont wanna talk about it.

so im giving myself a holiday.

another trip to KL with the boys.
4 days.

and today im suppose to jam with another band. and seriously i cant help but go off beat.
i used to play one of the songs pretty well but its seems that now i have fucking slacked off the course.

oh my.

back to my old ways.

GOOD LUCK TO AFIQAH FOR HER TEST TOMORROW.

mocha and little bit of fany

2006-12-05T03:16:00.000+08:00

works everytime.

things were so fucked up.

but caffine made it up.

and i still got time to practice some ska songs which i know im gonna pretty much kill the beat rather than make one.

i reckon that.

i cant wait for countdown.

and its exams! thats why mocha plays a part.

dont look the other way.

2006-11-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

ring ring ring.

wipe it away.

nothing can make it dry.

fight all the while.

fight till i think im free.

feelings i wished i never had felt.

such a risk for the common man.

we can make it. face all the fears.

oh smiles in the day.

such a cloudy day.

feel the warm morning sun shining.

seeing with your head up, with your eyes closed.

if only i could have made it..

its examination week.

and you can bet that i've been studying just to get that pointer.
its actually pretty easy. its just maintaining it thats pretty heavy.

nothing much happen. pretty old bored.

actually pretty much. but i think it'll be such a bore.

well pretty gigs are coming up soon.
december 10th will feature the best bands.

and i havent had the time to blame.

i've just inginted the freaking flame.

and pretty much i think its all just a game.

and makes the fuss.

is it a must?

can you not be trust?

i tink im just being me.

seeing with my head up and eyes closed.

you're over exposed.

just like a rose.

everybody's busy.

wan went to sabah.

dali went to climb moutains again. i dont which this time. might be kinabalu or ophir.

i dont know what happen to Sabby and Su

joshy is in homefront sercurity. big job.

shine is always full no matter how little she eats.

warren is busy with his new cue stick.

zul is always pestering me to update.

allyanananana berry and ary have celebrated twice this year.

illys, i can only understand half of what she writes.

salleh is practicing his casting.

aishy is busy with something.

hazrin is always bitching.

azmir might be gucking.

me and my dudes are always studying.

i oughta be doing something usefull. maybe photo hunting.
after exams they will all be back. and looking forward to have hardcore fun.

i dont do hardcore fun illgeally.

-end-

another line and hook

2006-11-20T01:42:00.000+08:00

they asked how i knew
her true love was true.
something here inside cannot be denied
they, said some day will find my one.

am i okay?

it was saturday
and i was trapped, at home.

i was dead with boredom.
it was killing me.

i was at home the whole day and it kills!

so i went fishing with joshy and the gang. i was like seriously dressing up like a MAT REP.
so please do not think of me like that when you see me. its hurts.

so yea.

just got back from gigs and golf.

awesome ey?

first day of the photograper of the band.

goofbye.

2006-11-16T15:32:00.000+08:00

more than just the light beyond belief

more chaotic, no relieve.

i'll describe the way i feel, leaving wounds that never heal.

end!

wow today is such a glorious day.

i came late. so late that is it such a delay.
there was a big bazaar downstairs.
and a bike.

all my friends are getting their bike license soon enough.
im the lastest one. last!
its on the first november. car and bike.

no escaping birthdays.
its a hit the ground thing to me.

and school ended earlier than expected today!

and i fought verbally with a teacher whom i didnt knew. wee! its the old faliq again.

and deep inside i know im dead. heek!

and deep inside i know that im not afraid. hiyak!

and i flunked my pneumatics TEST B but i got FLYING COLOURS with test A. wow.

and i gotta gotta gotta cut lose or lose.. and kill lewis. he's my imaginary friend.
before i get to enjoy.

STUDY! today!

goodygoodbye.

the lights blacked out.

2006-11-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

woots.

it was kinda nice.
we got food and cards

we played.

and we took pics.

i'll post them in the next post.

here's the old school YASHICA. i just love it more than myself. and the flash is spoilt!

taken by emotions

2006-11-11T04:35:00.000+08:00

wanna apologize?
FUCK YOU.

messed up i see.
i shall delete you out of my life.

i dont need to follow others. although it does seem so much like it. my friends know.
should i even care if you dont?

YASHICA.
wow. that camera works wonders.
but i'll have to get the pictures developed. film.
thats what you get.

CANON.
using the SLR and the IXUS.
excited arent i.

i got pics from that day dudes!
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LOVES TO DISCRIMINATE BUT NOT TAG.

i miss those chats.
those chats that we had.
i wish it could happen again.
with a spark inginted a flame is gained.
and hopefully it doesnt burn out.

and why is a love song in my hardcore playlist.

here they are.

so modely. [ thats shazwan ]

KILLS IT DOES. [ thats hanafi ]

im forced to pose! [ thats just me ]

boing, the end. [ thats jumping. ]

boing. im off to movies and splurging tomorrow.

cant you hear my heart beat?

2006-11-09T02:10:00.000+08:00

because it cant.

woo.

got this new SLR. its old but i just got it so its new.

and i gotta replace the batt and film. got it from a friend.

but digital still rules.

if im getting the DSLR 400D

then most probably the 900Ti
awesome!

& this is for you.

stop telling me, i dont want to know.

stop telling me, i just dont ever EVER want to know.
no no no.

Oh No.

and it doesnt affect me one bit. you should know me. for the person i am i've never shown.
you broke trust.

because of you.
trust is aside.
and because of you.
i trust nobody.

but whatever!

i still got the SLR.

she'll be there forever.

2006-11-07T19:03:00.000+08:00

hi aye.

nothing was worth the hassle.
she'll run in my veins.
she'll be the one for me to push on.
but she'll stab me and i'll bleed.

blah blah.

cant wait for saturday.
and its fucking couples day cum celebrating my birthday.
why cant the guys come.
why must there be the love of their teenage life.

all these things i dont really like when you're in a place i am.

im not feeling this situation.

im just waiting.
waiting.
and waiting.

im lost.

................................

long live rock n' roll.

2006-11-04T03:06:00.000+08:00

the dudes wanted to meet up for fun

so i had to dress up like old times.

it was fun.

goodbye old times.

hello complicated situations.

big band of peals!

2006-11-01T02:58:00.000+08:00

remember remember its the first of november!

i would like to thank the dude and dudettes for messaging me and sending me the testimonials though they dont know that i have a blog. heh.

karma is true!
sweet people get sweet stuffs from other sweet people.

i need my caffine sooner. i wish ITE would open a starbucks or coffebean. or any coffee outlet for that matter.

went to ngee ann poly. this time with the class. egg drop competition. i love it when im right and they were wrong.

i gave them my plan. but, NOOOOOOOO. the cone would break faliq. come on. where's the common sense in that. wtf? so i sold my idea to the other group which won! duh!

it feels soo good.

ha. ha.

tomorrow is zul's party hope you'll enjoy that.
i might be able to come over. for a short while. its like attending 3 birthday at once. so kinda hard. and i end late tomorrow. i dont know whats in store for me.

again i would like to thank those to messaged.

ree mem ber. for the next year.

i found the old songs you sent me.

2006-10-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

wow.

06.06.06

its truly a flashback. im sitting here wondering about you.
the songs. can bring to tears.

falling away from you.
for all the love we left behind.
i want you to forget.
memories.
things i will never find.

yesterday was loads of fun.

i love my sis's compaq laptop.

so yesterday as usuall i was late.
hey playing golf isnt like any other sports i've played.
you need ample concentration and power.

meet with warren.
took the train hecitcly
down to bugis to meet up with shinning.
and off to TCC we went.

the halloween theme was great!
skulls
phatom
and mr.Johnson

and someone's getting the best of you.

it was totall fun.

i went out for awhile.
and came in with a surprise!

SHINNING AND WARREN
got me a cake! aw thanks guys!

then we were up for shopping and got shine's stuffs

and headed back while warren had to meet his cuzzies at Chua Chu Kang.

talked about the old times we had during school period.

it was fun..

mood: way down.

remember remember; the first of november. which is my birthday. dont you forget it.

& so you get pretty boys.

2006-10-27T01:21:00.000+08:00

school?

this week wasnt a school week at all. studied only on monday and the rest its just freeeeee period.
wtf. and exams are just 7 weeks away. and its hard to maintain your GPA.
everyday is an exam.

i know im sounding like a nerd. i was one. i am.

and there's no school tomorrow.
going out with warren and shinning. wow.

and its pretty chill on monday.
going to ngee ann poly on tuesday.
we finish school at 5 on wednesday.
and then we chill on thursday.
and friday is pretty fucked up.

so whats the use of going to school waking up early.

HARI RAYA.
wow. its hari raya and it doesnt feel like it.
maybe when the friends come over.
there's sheeeshaaaa.

golf.
what a nice game it is. when you're playing it of course.
if you're watching the pro's, the lush green fairways of the course will make you feel sleepy.

been playing golf every once a week.
i wanna get my "handicap" its a term golfer use which means that you'll get your licence to play on any golf course in singapore and other countries.

and i have to apply for membership at some club.

that sucks. its gonna cost me 200+.
for the love of the game.

not bad been getting good results. just got back from the range.

we all were high. wan me and hanafi.
heh.

im the iron dude. cos i rock the iron.
wan's the woodywoodwan.
hanafi's the putter/caddy.

haha.

you should try it sometime.

A CRIKET CRAWLED INTO MY UNDIES.

it seaps out.

2006-10-20T01:55:00.000+08:00

hey do things your way.
just dont get in my sight.
and dont come running to me.
i say again. dont come running to me.
do you know how it feels to be shot through the heart?
being fooled by.
it fucking hurts.
and its coming from you.
it seems to me that you'hv found your place.
and you look so happy.
and everything is great for you.
these tears arent meant for you anymore.
i guess you proclaimed it over.
you took my heart with you.
stab it.

and im here look at those moments.
im making a fool of myself.
so what is left for me?

has anybody watched sepet?

im having stm. yea. so if forget im sorry.

and right now i know i have something to do but i really cant put a finger on it.

just cant.

i wonder was it is.

and i forgot where i put my PSLE certs and all the certs i'hv earned.

and the hanyut spoof/skit/paragody.

is way way funny. sometimes.

and those movie which makes you think about yourself and stuffs.

pretty sad though.

the F word.

qwert.

double crossing

2006-10-19T16:05:00.000+08:00

no its not clear.

the skys arent clear
my eyes arent too

im soo tired.

fiqah was lost in school haha.

ite won 2-1

i skipped 2 lessons and slept at school

im gonna smoke shesha today i guess.

the results are out.

pneumatics.
theory - 67 practical - NOT DONE YET

hydraulics.
theory - 93 practical - NOT ADDED YET.

and this week is full of holidays!

yipeee.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI AND SELAMAT HARI RAYA

from meeeeeee

and im gonna go ice skating. with who ever. just wanna skate!

[killer]

lime green and lovely abby.

2006-10-16T11:41:00.000+08:00

the haze sucks.

its killing me. and my throat hurts. but wtf.

im at home and not at school! im good.

i need to pack my bags.

and my file's missing. this is what i totally hate.

oh well.

i can always make copys.

come on now pretty lady bring it on.

the frail song of the suicide girl.

2006-10-13T12:54:00.000+08:00

hey hey.

im so dead tired. holidays really rotten your internal clock.
it all first started when i worked.
mom despise that.

its like waking up at 10am then you'll end work at 3-4am. which then you'll fall asleep or go online to talk to a few nightriders.

gotta change it.

and now; the situation is getting worse. i'll be awake the whole night after buka till morning then have a sleep for 4 to 5 hours. reminds me when i was in the state of depression after i thought i was going to lose somebody pretty loved to me.

so now its fasting where you really lack of enegry. well thats for me.
i cant seem to be doing th normal push up rate i'hv been doing. heek~

and everytime i dont go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning i'll be wishing i was jogging the in cold morning.

damn.

so today its gonna be:

rockclimbing soon.
then go back home for break fast while the other climbers continue
dinner.
off to esplanade. for some dxo.

aha.

im not that type. but oh well. invited. who doesnt wanna.

and i feeling sooo bored already.

[[ blah ]]
[[ maybe im just blind ]]

redundant.

2006-10-12T06:39:00.000+08:00

did i spell that right?

spent the whole day sleeping.

had been on the computer from the wee hours of morning till 4.30
slept till buka.
had buka.
sleep again.
woke up.
sahured
and computer.

thats the way till friday!

met kel, steph and janice!

janice is a childhood friend.
it is soo nice to meet her again.

so. met them and we're going clubbing this friday. im not a clubber but i gotta try everything once.

no drinking. dont worry.

i really want that camera.
and i got the new adobe.
still i want that new camera.

and school is gonna be re-opening soon.

its better than being at home and all too tired to go out and stuffs.

and before clubbing
the golfers will be playing golf in the afternoon. omg. so tired...
and saturday i have something on i dont know what.
thats why i have people reminding me. thnks guys!

and hallowed be thy name is so smoothing.
im gonna go for easy listening for the moment.

and driving is fun when its a souped up car.
ouh yea vespa too.

and krabi, thailand. im gonna go there! yeah yeah.

and when im empty on food.
i'll act like as if im high on something. and its kinda funny.

[[ pretty listening must ]]
[[ she wants revenge ]]
[[ revenge thy shall get ]]

from the words i sought.

2006-10-11T02:09:00.000+08:00

you're wondering.

go for drinks
come back with flings.
you fly like as if there's wings.
you're feeling low.
you think of going with the flow.
i think all you need is a deathblow.

not much of day, i spent have of it sleeping. awesome. and you'll have nightmares during the waktu margrib. i love that word.

anyways after breaking the fast went down and got in the car for some shisha sheshaING.
[ choose ] over at eunos.a friend's shop.

the thing about working in a shesha bar [ thats what i like to call it ] is that you'll get to know many other people if you're good im not saying im the best but ngahha.

and there were pretty vespas too. talked laugh talked smoked laughed drink teh tariks and got home. see i told you it wasnt much of a day.

isnt it great to have friends that have vechicle did i spell that right?

there was this once when i was walking back after passing wan his BLACK EDITION if you guys know what it is.

a friend called. as usuall the night air was cold pretty busy i wasnt ready for a ghost to really appear then something black caught my eye and i was ready to run.

then it was a black dog. pretty normal. the thing is with me and dogs; i hate the small ones but the big one's are okay.
cos the small barks and big you wont know if he likes you or nots. even the furry little ones. but the big ones you'll know. well thats for me anyways.

so he came out from the corner.
i was shocked but relieved then he started to follow me. wtf.
i was lucky that i was already near by my block.
i was trying to remain clam walking nervously. the dog was like about 3 faliqs away and when i turned around and i made the fastest dash to the lift then i have ever made.

i was too afraid because i had dreams of pit bulls coming at me. and fuck they were fast but once i had outrun them.

i have this tendency of reading russell lee's books during my secondary school days. yati and warren would know how and why.

puting my forehead on the table and reading the book. for a very long time. pretty hectic.

whenever i cant sleep i read that up. and it took me less than 2 hours just to finish the old series 7. try reading it before you sleep. then you can see the story in realtime. its so fucked up scary.

FADZY DONT BE FEELING LIKE ME
[[ forever in me. ]]
[[ this doesnt need to be the end. ]]
[[ been falling apart. ]]

hungry for nutella.

2006-10-09T07:44:00.000+08:00

my mind seems just not right.

you really are a torn in the rose. are you. leaving your torns in everyone's heart. taste your own medicine. and tell me all about it.

you're never gonna use me when you like.

JB.

woke up in the morning. actually didnt sleep. so got up wore my lime green zildjian shirt and khakis with knockerd converse and chiow. hailed the cam and poof we're at the checkpoint blah blah blah crossed.

dad and mom when for a message and i went on a single backpacking trip to city square and went for a little shopping. i just cant resist! ouh yea. and the kenny rogers seems to mouth wetting deliciOso nice. too bad. it was just 1pm.

and was looking around for shirts at this shop when this mina m'sia was like making the standard chicak sound and calling me out. " [chicak sound] bang bang. bang baju hijau bag merah hitam rambut pajang, oi!" and i didnt look! haha! cos i was too shy. or too tired you choose. and surprisingly today there are loads of ladies wearing those bohiemiean skirts. i dont feel like im in JB anymore. but whatever.

its so boring la walking all alone. but kenny rogers.... tsk. i'll come next time..

then had to make my way all the way to the shesha shop to get my bottle. dad wants it for raya and stuffs. so picked the bottle and some flavours and met them up at the massage palour.

then went back. tada!

its been so long since i'hv ate the nasi lemak. i miss the nasi lemak at larkin and i got it! though the sambal's abit too mild.

and im a ayam percik freak. so bought 2. standy for buka in the car. haha. and my nasilemak.
in the end got home sooner than expected.

GEEK IS GONNA MAKE MY BLOG.

THIS IS MY THANKS TO YOU! LET ME TREAT YOU TO BILLY BOMBERS. WE'LL EAT BERRY AND WATCH ALYNANANANA LAUGH.

ps: if you want shesha just come over. i'll make some.

;tomorrow be rain. i'll follow the sun. the morning rain.

mommy, read me a bedtime story.

2006-10-08T04:39:00.000+08:00

hit me.

it seem that you like playing the game huh.
i'll play along.
wish me luck.
we'll take it through the night.
i hope you wont get a fright.

oh well.

boarding.
i'hv tried keyboarding. now im gonna try wakeboarding. its either the boat tow. or east coast.
cant wait. hopefully before school re-opens.

then if im still alive. god willingly. im gonna go bungee jumping with the group of rockclimbers.
and after that if im still alive and have the amount of cash i need then skydiving. so take steps.
just dont fall.

going to malaysia. gonna get my shesha bottle. buy some stuffs and head home. so guys and girls. please leave a message.

[[ hit me in between my legs ]]
[[ cos it wont hurt as much as you;hv hit my heart. ]]

[[ whatever faliq ]]

i got my back to the wall.

2006-10-07T07:55:00.000+08:00

i'hv changed.

when actually i havent.
im just not myself. but still you say the same.
and i cant keep on going with this game.
say whatever you wanna.
throw a chair.
do i look like i care?

so here i am.
come and get me.
tell me if im wrong, i'll admit it.
are you ready?
can you be straight-forward?
i have nothing to talk with you.

so this shouldnt be happen.

so straight forwardness i guess.
and i know again i'll tell you i know.

i'll put YOU in your palce.

bite the wired chord. feel the shock.

oh well. enough with the fucked up stuffs. its hazey!
and dis-trust, hurt and saddom is in the air. you can just smell it. i dont know how.

and my ribs hurt when i sneeze.

today was a wonderful day off golf. and i didnt know my hair's that long. check out the pics.
well the boys are back together again.

played at the driving range for a while.
met fai then went for sahur at central.

and did some pranks.

loads of em in vids but one in pic.

and tomorrow is gonna be shesha at bugis.
i dont work at the shesha bar anymore.
it shifted. and i dont like it so i quit. for awhile.

we carried this out. damn. if it was monday it would have been totally awesome! then all the coralites would freaking wonder.

[[ chair. ]]
[[ sofa ]]
[[ blah blah blah ]]
[[ red headed where are you ]]

invisible.

2006-10-05T06:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel invisible.

dot.
dot.
dot.

i cant be bothered with you simple foolishness and i know it wasnt me. but i cant believe the things you say. its just soooooooooooo stupid. get the facts right.

[[ ]]

i'll take care of sweet sensations.

2006-10-02T07:31:00.000+08:00

hard temptations.

im avoiding things which i onced love. liked.

gashaus was great. this time. saw loads whom i knew.

b.i.n.g.o
is bleeding on skin considered "dirty" and should be fasting?

cos it hurts badly.

gosh begosh!
im head over heels for now.
and please anyone. everyone. dont give me a call. im not myself. so icing myself down.

i heart the red headed.

- if there's some self caring love for yourself. please dont think that i would even wanna. get some fucking sense into your head. i dont have the time anymore. so u can go fuck yourself with all the fucks u'll get that you like from fucking attention. -

[[ it feels better ]]
[[ you guys should try it. ]]

take risks. not wrists.

2006-10-01T07:14:00.000+08:00

thats what i'hv been told.

its early morning. i havent slept. im so fucked up bored. and yes i wanna spill all the vulgars i wanna.

are you gonna stop me?

well things have been fucked up. me and my big mouth.

dta to me i guess.

the power of word from word.

its kinda fucked up again. then again. everything is. its just a matter of organising it.

makes you go to tears.

for all the help i gave.

its better being the person that i was then i am now. well some part of it.

whenever i think back. it makes no sense now.

im gonna take a peep through the window. just to give a think.

disclosed it to 3 and now im wondering.

gallows.

you can just die on your own.
even if i was in a state to help.
and dont call me anymore on the phone.
and i hope your're just that glad.
you're nothing to me but just another regret.
dont fret it. you wont even know who the fuck you are.
penelope.

there's always something behind what i do.

2006-09-29T05:46:00.000+08:00

ben davis.

not been feeling well. sympathize me.

i'hv been booked. for the whole week. awesome. i got great activites and i dont know if i can carry all of em out.

today
1. rockclimbing @ 5 todae.
2. Break-Fast @ 7
3. work.

saturday.
get a hold of myself for all that has happen.
recooperate.
work.

sunday.
1. wake up @ 5
2. wash up.
3. golf with khakis
4. work.

and i dont know whatever is gonna happen.

and the f****ed up thing that has happen just to push me to the end of the clif that i have mountained up.
my phone! my contacts. ok i think its abit to much for the sentence up there. my phone just shut down on me. and it wont start up again. i hope the guys at nokia would do something. and it wont erase my contacts. damn. thank god i have my old fone. and its still colour.

DO ANY OF YOU GUYS THINK IM THIN?
cos patheticly i tink i am.

and geek lets go get a cammy together!! AWESOME DISCOUNT! at thailand, its kinda cheap. almost the same price bout a few hundred or in tens cheaper. but still LETS GO GET IT TOGETHER.

on and on im dreading the day i work just to get the cash for the camera. damn.
i hope i dont regret the decision i make.

ok guys go get a fresh pair of undies on.

[[ so i wait for you. ]]
[[ im brain dead my fingers are working for me. ]]

i cry in the bathroom before i cry again when i'hv gone to sleep.

2006-09-27T04:40:00.000+08:00

in a middle of a gun fight.

im done talking about the band. its so old new and i end up getting nothing but angst against shit.

okok. i dont know when the meetUPS are. but rest assured im freee! and available.

im thinking of taking up advance guitar. [ and i have yet to play the basics properly. ]
and KEYBOARD!

HELP?

call me materialistic; but these are the items i want.

the god damn EOS 400D which is totally god damn good than nikon. read the paper tech savey.

so.
EOS 400D.
A GOOD CELLPHONE. which has bluetooth and blah blahs.
MORE MORE MORE MORE CLOTHES.

trust me. im gonna grow up and wear what i want. im under the teenage influence right now. this is the mature grown up faliq. pardon him if he cant spell. he is tired. he gots to work till 3 todae. and he's watching MANU playing right now. while typing. still watching..

okk.
i got myself a PSP nong nong ago.
a shesha bottle for myself nong nong ago.
a ixus nong nong ago. [ tried out the new ixus and its not that bad. still the old ixus is better. the fuctions arent the same no more. not enough actually. ]
a nice phone with infrared and it cant read java applet. hurhur. as shikin likes to say.

i cant think of anything else. but but but. i'll try.

food.
im having cravings for cereal prawns and fish and co.!

ok thnks for reading.

[[ i'll miss you. ]]
[[ the collisions of our hands i'll still remember. ]]

the big weezer.

2006-09-26T17:59:00.000+08:00

the localmotion.

so hady won. and the whole of the blocks cheered. my god. i didnt know he was that of a hot.
watched only one show. which was the final and yes yes, hady was way way way better than jonny boy. fiqah likes that. and he had to win. but taufik was better. blah balh balh. no matter who won i still gotta go to work and meet friends. and raya go clubbing.

[[ congrats ]]
[[ thnks for breaking my heart. ]]

can i get some classics reebox?

2006-09-25T16:11:00.000+08:00

hello. couldnt update cos i was either too tired or too busy with work. so here goes

fridae morning.
the holidaes are in.

awesome! finally. cos i am in need of a break. but im working, which tires me out as well.

exams which i studied too hard for came out too easy which is too good to be true. cos the answers are like putting a candy into a baby's mouth.

well thats a relieve!

cos i thought it would be a series of valve and components which u guys wont wanna know!

fridae night.
when for session and everyone got mad with each other. what the fuck. im bored. and the anger level is going up. if i can stand it anymore im gonna look for another band. playing alternative, post-hardcore, emo whatever. as long as its not melayu rock. ewwww.

talked to my bassist and mike(lead guitar) wants to throw hanafi the one who started the band with me.
and after thinking of what he has done in great deals of ups and downs its kinda fucked up cos he pulled mike in and myself din. and the assdickheaded rythm. im so gonna blow a punch on to your face.

saturdae.

the next dae the dickheaded dude didnt even did his study and he was left there fucking stupid and not knowing what to fucking do.

so whatever to that.

went off with my bassist! went to town to meet up with the others. MY CLICKS.
suppose to go gigs have fun and fight. but the freaking last minute they cancled it.
so went around ate the last day before puasa dinner. saw loads of other pple over at far east. saw cheeks.
went window shopping.

met the clicks. had loads of fun. celebrated nurul's b'day. saw some ex-coralites hanged out with them for a moment. then went back and dragged the clicks to the shesha shop. had fun camwhored and went off.

i stayed there talked to fi the dude who's uncle owns a seafood stall there. alwaes have company smoking wit me.

and its offical! CANON EOS 400D IS BETTER THAN THAT NEW NIKON. AND KINDA CHEAPER.

i wonder whats so cliche abt us. we'hv met. we'hv gone. she changed. you did too. but now the things you're facing are just the same. just like mine. i wonder why. as least im facing my problems rather than running away from it and fearing that it might catch up. i wish you would too. written thoughts of yours isnt for me. i know. it never was. but i agree. it was just one night.

[[ the harm you caused ]]
[[ we were just good friends ]]
[[ you do the same to the other guys u'hv dated ]]

you have it in XS?

2006-09-20T13:46:00.000+08:00

tell me how i feel.
i'hv been late more than three times and its not secondary school anymore where u have to pick up freaking rubbish. it'll be a warning letter. but what abt it.

past three days have been really boring and neverending drama.

and to top it off i have been selected to go for an interview for an interact club which helps the society and stuffs and they're taking people to the phillpines i tink thats how you spell it. i dont know if its gonna be good.

and im freaking tired even 10 hours of sleep isnt enough. i tink thats the reason im tired out.

im jamming
then climbing
then work.

kay i need something.

[[ dad is hospitalized. ]]

slits and wrists

2006-09-18T01:25:00.000+08:00

last week.

1. i had freaking sessions for quite awhile.
2. i had to freaking do a project on my own cos the diskett my group member gave me couldnt be read.
3. i have to study for my tests. if now my grades go down and its hard to get it back up again.
4. my teacher is getting blind to see that my hair is THAT long.
5. i had too little sleep for everything. yes even on weekends. i work.
6. i had to cancel my gig.
7. usuall crappienies of my life.

and yes i feel stressed up. isnt it fucked up.

but today.
today was fun. it didnt get the depression out of me but it did help me for ahwhile.
went to gigs. see how they are doing. it wasnt the gig that made me feel okay.

but the company! yea we had total fun. the gig was fucking boring. the one that made me sleep.
next week with the same company to a better gig and this is confirmed.

friday

did rockclimbing. cos my wrist spraining accident finally healed. somehow. im gonna pump back and earn my 3 second climb.

fasting.
its coming soon and im gonna stop my crap. hopefully for a long time.

[[ killing myself with you in my mind ]]
[[ take this and point blank ]]

presentation and gashaus

2006-09-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

it happen.

had a session group with the band members. preparing for the gig if we are entering.
jamming and sessioning these past few days; just had one. doing edition to the lyrics.

its fun jamming and i hope we sound good. cos if we dont. we're gonna be feeling fucked up. and if we do play at the gig it would be alternative against the hardcore genre and i dont know if we would fair out. but what hecks!

we're playing

The Strokes
12:51
reptilia
trying your luck

radiohead
Creep

arctic monkeys
a certain romance

and our very own song written by me and edited by the band
It happens.

i sound like as if im freaking promoting.

alot of songs but if i had my way

i would play

12:51
scummy
certain romance.
i bet you look good on the dancefloor
Fake tales of San Fransico
our song.
and maybe some hardcore music.

yea right.

thats that.

[[ you'hv never been there ]]
[[ all this while it was lies ]]

i hate love. i love hate.

2006-09-13T01:18:00.000+08:00

A broken friendship was worth it
I'll scrap any thoughts with your name
Still I long for you to stayI take back anything

I won't forget
As time will only tell where to go
But I wish that you were breathing
I still just can't believeYou're gone...

I'm taking it in
I'm holding it back
I'm filling my lungs with a knife in my back
But you kept going on just to make me feel like this
Now that it's overI won't feel the same
A broken frame with dark picture is wasted
I'll throw it away
Losing sight
You were all I had

[[ you liar ]]
[[ everyday i feel fucked up ]]
[[ i took in too much off you ]]

turn for the twists

2006-09-10T06:09:00.000+08:00

IF'S.

if i could i would turn back time and spent everyone of those days with you till the very last one when we had to part.

im here just wishing. wishing it could happen.

but deep down inside i know it never would.

[[ im standing here right now ]]
[[ mistov vodka. ]]

for tea

2006-09-09T03:49:00.000+08:00

fave the world.

have this gig coming along and the guys are not even serious. atleast its me and mike though. damn i mean its so fucked up. the gig's in a few weeks over at gashaus and they're are like i wanna our music to be heard and i wanna play infront of my girlfriend. fuck off man.
i tink we'll be there just to see most of my friends play. thats that.

screams
my sister's engage. awesome.

its been long.

there's loads of things i'hv stopped doing.

and come to think of it there are somethings that i'hv never done before.
patheticly i have never taken a "neo-print". woah.

none of you can ever make me!

[[ im tired and i feel so broken up ]]

saawadeekap anyone?

2006-09-01T05:07:00.000+08:00

thailand thailand.

the holiday was a blast. bang and boom.
it was an unexpected one bnut yea it was great.
and i shopped like a pretty girl.

took the flight and slept for like 2 hours which was the total duration of the flight.
had lunch there. and airline food tastes good only when your freaking hungry.

and vodka's only 4 bucks.

the airport was kinda old school but it was okay when i left. whatever.

checked in and i went shopping. changed all my money which was too little i guess.
didnt got as many things as i wanted due to the lack of money. but im going again and this time with friends. april maybe.

well. i went jalan jalan through pratunam i tink that is how its spelt and when for a real lunch at this arab restaurant. had some chicken and lamb and tea.

went out and straight away started my shopping. bought shoes socks boxers shirts shirts shirts jeans pants torchlight extra large pins cigarettes sunglasses and some other stuffs just all on the first day.

went on the tut tut. which was fun but i tink you can die with all the smoke coming from the other vechicles. TB i guess.

i saw fried insects i wanted to try it but. i was too afraid that it might ruin my appetite and spoil my craving for thai tom yum. and then i saw a cyber cafe. yes i entered.

most of the kiddos didnt believe that i was at thai. tsk tsk tsk. till i showed em the thai cigarettes.

being so brave to walk alone in thai streets . it's because i look thai! all the shopkeepers said that. yes thai.

you from thai?
you from laos?
you from vietnam?
you from god knows where?

2nd day parents went for a short tour while i went to the all so famous MBK. mabrookrong.

and its like freaking white sands much bigger. and all the coralites are there.

but the thai international school girls are HOT.

some of em dont look thai at all.
they have like

jap
mat rep- fuck lamb yes! mat rep!
rivermaya
hiphop
emo dude.

so i only covered half of the mall. it was huge trust me.

then at 5+ picked up my bro and sis who just arrived from s'pore. met up at mbk.
blah blah.

smoked sheesha there. heh.
and while the girls went shopping.

out of the blue this guy came with lighters and all. bought one of it. and he got like a freaking TAZER. awesome! it was cool lah.

and then. a magician. cooler.

3rd dae

mbk again. and there are still the TISG( thai international school girls ) still as hot as ever. didnt bother abt them. did more shopping went down and up and left and right. so freaking tired.

and then i came to this shop that sells band shirts and cds. i got 2 cd's heh.

and this emo girl. and believe it or not the only one i saw where i was. bangkok.
pretty as she is. but you know..
invited to a gig. cool!
but i couldnt. tsk.

talked to her then the boss and went off.

ate and thai massage then sleep.

its hard for me to wake up in the early morns.
didnt eat breakfast for 3 days at the hotel.
last day i did.

kay i bored.
nights.

[[ sorry i didnt get any of you anything; i just didnt know what to get ]]

womadness

2006-08-27T01:43:00.000+08:00

black magic.

yesterdae after sheeshaING at tanjong pagar the few of us chilled there till 3.

tired of smoking 2 bottles alone and shared 2 more bottles we went for a walk to CBD to esplanade. which was fun! met very weird people. car racers and some hookers which were freakingly disgusting. soon reached there. talked abt most shit and the 2 couples were doing their own shit and it was all the guys sitting at the chillout stage. of course i fell asleep. i almost fell off the freaking sits. woke up the next morning at 7 and took the train home. my eyes were looking like as if it was gonna pop out. so tired i went home and just slept.

woke up at 1 and wan msged. thnks to him i got up in time to watch WOMAD. which starts at 7 though. but getting ready and all. so met him and off to fort canning park. aw it was super great. the bands the people. didnt see any of my other friends only the ABC'S and ANG MOP. those fuckers love to stare. well they look like 14's. had some drinks and watched loads of band. funkjazz raggaeska and some alternatives all of em were great. there was a korean and spanish band. but overall fun. super fun. cant wait for next's year. there is one tommorrow but i aint going. cos im going to THAILAND.

yes thailand. it was shocking cos the people home just said that. hey faliq tis sunday we're going to thailand and we're coming back on wednesday. so yea. pack your stuffs.

so i had to ask for leave and shit. so guys take care.

the start after we got our tickets. we didnt take pictures of the perfomance though. too fun enjoying ourselves. but blackmagic was great! listen to them.

break!

shirts off. and yes people were looking. others took off shirts too!

snaped while sleeping. thanks wan.

[[ womad 2007 anyone? ]]
[[ i did what i wanted to do which i told you. ]]

she said everything is gonna be alright.

2006-08-23T03:09:00.000+08:00

sitting by the telephone.

cant i just live without any disturbance?

just do my work and watch the world pass
and live like i wasnt a presence to anyone.
i just feel like to re-charge.
the little things that you say still bothers me.
till now.
i need to retreat. by the beach
with cigarettes and acohol. can i?
the things you do makes me go somewhat insane.
everyone kills me.

i tink i need to do something.
but i just dont know what it is.
nothing ever has a full sense of joyness and what craps.
no one apperciates for what i have done for them.
i dont feel unappreciated.
i just dont feel the way i ever felt before.
can u find my pills?

i dont know what keeps me alive.
i just feel like having a nosedive.
what keeps me smiling.
maybe its just so labile.
but it does not take the pain away.
from nothing that i do not gain.
it feels like im being tied with a chain
why dont u just throw me a fucking bottle of chlordane.
i walked away from you.
but it wasnt a breakthrough.

but.
i still wish you were here.
but the pass anguish.
i still miss your smile and your faded kiss.
its so hollow.
dont you feel the sorrow?
tie me a knot.
and give me a shot.
to the heart.
goodbye my sweetheart.

[[ there there. it was always something more. ]]
[[ some how somewhere deep inside i wish things didnt go wrong. ]]

life as it is.

2006-08-22T01:29:00.000+08:00

shit happens doesnt it.

and it happens when u least expected it.
its fucked up though. got sick. still alittle sick and i havent fully recovered from the crash yet. but slowly i am. i'hv been having restless night and believe me, before sleeping u look at the time and it was what 1am? waking up at 6am u should at least feel the "wake up at 6am" feeling but nooo. i felt like as if it was some god damn 30 mins restless sleep. and fuck i'hv been waking up in the middle of the freaking hot sometimes cold night.

school
im so broke. pocket money isnt give to me. so yea whatever. im still surviving. some of the courses are taking me out of it. and i have to go to work after school. sometimes. its freaking long hours. and i have friends who dont wanna go home and change before going anywhere which is kinda troublesome blah blah. my sir. hasnt caught my hair for say 2 months and its long but not thick as usuall. im never cutting all layered again. its like freaking strains of hair all over. but its nice when wet. gotta have a wet head.

there are simply loads of other shit which i dont think u all wanna hear abt and i dont feel like sharing. so let me hide in that deep dark hole or my little puny girly diary wit my pink pen and flying dead fairys.

[[ walk this way ]]
[[ give me a kiss of you godforsaken lips ]]
[[ i missed you so. dont go again. i cant bear the pain. ]]

asprins and acohol

2006-08-20T03:04:00.000+08:00

2 doesnt go well.

really sorry guys i can go. i was sick. am sick.

you got someone new dont you.

looking so cool with your tie and the shoes
with your new machine and the guy next to you.
cos money dont matter cos soon later..

missed loads of shit todae.
new shit old shit.

i hate being fucking sick and locked up in bed.

[[ it dont matter ]]

the drugs and fantasy.

2006-08-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

it really really makes no sense at all.
do u really think i dont know these things at all?
i was your piece of rag and now u're coming back.

it just hurts so much.
why cant you try to leave?
you tore my heart and took me apart.

we cant be together cos this love will just tear us apart.
i dont want anything to do with you ever again.
do u cry out in your sleep?
these tears taste just like your love.
can u sleep with that in you?

the things u done i have not forgotten.

extra expresso!

2006-08-10T03:09:00.000+08:00

maybe thats the reason that got me blogging.

its just like liqour. taste now feel later. i thot it was gonna be straight up like the others. but starbucks's lasted me long.

went out wit the twinnies and warren. had loads of fun chilling over at bucks and maizura then came down. played pool which those 2 arent very good at.

then mac. and went home. kinda fun. but not as fun.

chilled with wan then. it was super funny fun fun. we took pictures in the quad [multiples] he was doing stupid stuffs and all. we laughed till we teared. it was a video. haha.

[[ my days are acounted for ]]

[[ taking me high away ]]

[[ would you stay ? ]]

craziest day in town.

2006-08-07T03:26:00.000+08:00

you called last night.

it was sunday that i met wan. god it was uber boring at home and i decided to call him up. we met up and were on the way there.

okok i'll make it short

1. retard guy sang to me.
2. woman got beat up by nerdy guy wan stopped it.
3. went into starbucks and everyone stopped and looked. cos of my injured and bandaid arm?
4. guy got whimpy cos of pray mantis at back of body.
5. knows what whoever wanna say next.

done.

[[ seriously dude whats u're problem? fuck off. ]]
[[ wanna see me break your face? ]]

remember me when i break your fake aviators off

i got lipstick marks all over.

2006-08-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

everything seems to be falling apart.

its hard keeping things to yourself. maybe its just my nature. times are hard now.

it sucks when u have to support yourself. but it seems that the time has come. and i just have to deal with it. i dont know where this is going. but i feel eager to get my own cash for my own shit seriously. its like KL trip all over again + working. u'll find the relation. and maybe just maybe the candy might taste sweeter this time. i tink im gonna have to work as something that u can really earn. i can work industry style. but the work timming sucks and i can do plumbling and drafting. so i dont think so for the moment. cos in the first place i want to go to either computer enginneering or blah blah. so im thinking of being a medic. which i have to go for the medic course and blahs.

so the things i wanna buy have to be on hold. which again sucks. but now i can be home any fucking time. and be out any time. wished i had that scrambler.

thats where the money is.

[[ candy tastes bitter ]]
[[ coffee or tee ]]
[[ your accent arouse me on ]]

hope its not too late for coffee.

2006-08-01T01:40:00.000+08:00

i was there

she was sweet

i was weak

she was there just for me.

we hold hands. down the streets.

we were young.

we were wrong.

we were fine all along.

how could we,

just carry on.

who knows we'll meet head on the otherside.

[[ It makes me sick (I'm alright) ]]
[[ i'll wait for it to come ]]
[[ suffer a blow. ]]

beware my darling.

2006-07-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

you lied.
it came out the words echoing in my mind.
memories flashed back.
it all flushed in.
things i forgot i could remember.
just like the heart u stab and blood gushing out.
the air i keep gasping for.
is no more.
im dying for your love.
im dying for you.
this rage. the lies. no more.
no more to your charade of love.
im saying goodbye.

hello to acohol and ciggarettes.

im moving on and now you're GONE.

[[ fly away ]]
[[ fly to the sky ]]
[[ just dont fly to high ]]

it worked.

2006-07-21T12:53:00.000+08:00

the pills worked.

anyways. i take it back. im gonna go for PSP. and the nikon.

didnt do much.

i slept at 11pm. omg. wowness. haha. woke up at 4am got myself a yummy breakfast and slept again till 11.30
so i guess u can say its almost 12 hours of sleep. but damn was it nice.

meet u monkies later!

[[ sleep ]]

what a fantabulous day?

2006-07-20T04:15:00.000+08:00

slept at 8 today.

i just cant seem to sleep early? i tink i need the pills.

anyways, woke up by the fone and din was sending tons of msg.

slept back and woke up at 4. yes its a pig reading msges and sleeping back.

so anyways, painstakingly got up and freshen up.
ate mommsy food. being overseas made me missed mom's food. headed for bedok. told to be waited there for few moments and it was a freaking 1 and a half. waiting up there in the mrt station; i really got to see loads of people. not the kind u normally see. well anyways he came and the train came so we headed down to swee lee and i got my drumsticks and i tink i wanna get more. i bought a drumkey cos the freaking sets over at jamming studio have to be tune. some sound horrible. OMG! total turnoff? haha. then had surveyed some bass guitars and i tink they should make drumsets as cheap as that. 250 for a package guitar. and for 250 u can get cymbals set? or maybe just a ride. depends. but for 250 u can get a good throne. hak. thats how expensive drumming or percussion is. so if u are one. pray u got cash to spent.

and as usuall i headed down for simei. and todae seriously was the best, best best of jamming. and it was only 3 of us. guitarist(lead) bass and me. and saw SUMMER'S OVER. the band were nice. the drummer still recongnizes me. haha. its been awhile. good memory.

without any session not try to boost or was so ever
the strokes - 12:51, someday and last night
radiohead - Creep
arctic monkeys - a certain romance. - i love this song.

dont you think our world is getting smaller? not literrally asshole.

u're meeting ur best friend's friends of their friends and some of em is ur very own friends whom ur best friend knows! [ go figure ]

i really think so. and the person whom u least expect to see u saw.

and the being that u not hoping to see u saw and thot u did but u really did.

what a world.

okay guys i need u to decide - PSP or DLSR?

CHOOSE!

[[ im well aware of how you are. do you? ]]
[[ does your feelings lingiers for me? ]]
[[ do you still have it for me? ]]

escalator epediemic

2006-07-18T04:11:00.000+08:00

this ride.

im obviously having the sleep late till 10 am sickness. i dont think insiomnia's the word to describe it.
whatever.

the same shit again. went for jam. me and din [ my bassist ]. played some funk and jazz. which sucked todae cos seems neither of us are in the correct mood or maybe its the room. we dont know. then we played

Creep by radiohead.
Last Night by the strokes
Someday by the strokes
12:51 by you know who.
a certain romance by arctic monkeys. i somehow love the drum solo and im almost getting it right.

anyways i didnt feel satisfied with my performance todae. none of us did.

but we laugh it off and went for some coffee and got home. its boring now.

i cant wait to get back to work. some shit cropped up so im on standby. tsk tks tks.

so its jam jam jam work out rockclimbing computer maggi movie marathon jam eat sleep.

i'hv spent over $300 on fishing stuffs and personal indulgence.

fishing equipment : basic tackle box, hooks, line. freakishly expensive rod and reel. and loads of blah blahs.

personal indulgences : Trip to KL and of course many things done there. Chocolate, loads of it. shopping, and yes sometimes i do enjoy. to me its like ; a kid in a candy store and he gets everything he wants. okay?

and in total i'hv spent $535 i tink around there. and if i had saved up another $1000 dollars i could have gotten myself an EOS 350D. Not bad. a 8.0 megapixle. or a pearl stage custom. or a yamaha blah blah. or 2 pearl rythmic traveler. and a bass guitar. or a keyboard. or a ipod video. or a PSP. or xbox360. or new rockclimbing equipment. or go climbing at thailand. or get loads of drumsticks. and i can go on and on on on on on on.

so thats why im saving up. to get either a cannon or nikon. depends.
and an ipod upgrade. video.
not getting the PSP cos personally i tink the ps2 that im playing is better.

unless u're buying an ipod vid.

cos the prices vary and between the ipod and PSP here's the differences to me.

PSP has:
video
games
music
can be modified.

the Ipod Vid:
video
clickwheel?
pictures
music

differences?
psp has a bigger screen.
ipod has sound quality and bigger memory. 30 or 60 GB. now thats huge.

but really. now i'hv made myself fucking confused.

for a person like me.

i have an mp3 - 6 GB and its kinda not enough.
a ps2, xbox.
a digicamera. not mine but i use it often, in the past.

so next pay. after covering the spending spree. which then i have to save up to get one of these gizmos not forgeting the upcoming boating trip. money is not yet an issue.

so its either the mp3 or the psp
and if there's enough a camera.

woah. thats enough shit.

now warren and yati. when are we gonna go out? we have too. its been to long.

and my tittle has nothing to do with what i posted.

[[ sweet as ever ]]
[[ i took u all for a ride ]]
[[ die u scum, thats what they said to him ]]

last day and it rocks!

2006-07-17T01:22:00.000+08:00

came down with wan todae.

we left at abt 6.15 and went to the new york pizza and its kinda nice. cheap too.

after that headed to funan IT mall and checked out some stuffs then headed for baybeats.

just to watch ELECTRICO!.

yup. they started at 8.30 and we were there at 8.25 so as usuall we had to be outside. fcuk.
ilove the song

love in a new wave.
walk.
WE'RE NOT MADE IN THE USA.

really nice. haha.

then after meet shahrul and the other and got ready to mosh!

it was a great band.

got to mosh hard. and there was this guy seems like a bulldozer he asked me to mosh with him instead i got moshed. and i was pushed far back and had to mosh my way back again. and there was this geek he was moshing and he was kinda hitting my back and almost everybody's. we were'nt in the mosh crowd which was at the back of us and he was the only one doing it. so we grabbed him and pushed him into the crowd. again he came back. and i tink wan loves his head. he keeps pushing it and poking haha. u gotta ask him abt it.

shahrul got his bodysurfing after the 2nd time he fell head first. ouch.. real ouch.

soon after the drummer threw the sticks and wan had pull just to get that stick. and i own it now! credits to him.

it was a great way to end baybeats. but i missed the pinholes play. so maybe next time at some pub or HOME. maybe.

GEEK- ps. i'll get the floorball stick asap. dont worry. im waiting for him to get back from NS.

[[ great ending ]]
[[ new love. ]]
[[ u got what u paid for anyway. ]]

outdoor moshing

2006-07-16T01:59:00.000+08:00

yesterdae and todae.

yesterdae was total fun. but it ended in a wreck. we went for LOVE ME BUTCH gig and it was the best. as usuall i was late but not for their gig. moshing and stuffs and mike [ my lead guitarist ] had hit this guy's arm and the fuck what do u expect in a moshpit. the guy was a total mat rep. he was standing at the side. the fucker wanted to fight his ass of. hak! of course being the peaceshit guy i had to stopped it in case anyone got injured. take that. so we had to mosh somewhere else. mats..... well some of em actually.

todae.

came late. AGAIN. miss pinholes playing. fuck. but nevermind there was plain sunrise. and they were great too. heard that one buck short gave away free shits and the songs they were playing were good. didnt get to catch em. saw loads of people and i really miss hatred playing ahah. went out wit the lead singer to some LJS chatted and got invited for drumming. haha. no. not yet. anyways didnt got to enter powerhouse so loads of people got locked outside and again its outdoor and my friends all went in. tsk the addiction of nicotine. so i moshed outside with other moshers. and loads of em were body surfing and some motherfucker sprayed mineral water. i hope. but the bitchy security didnt allow it and they pulled, by neck while bodysurfing down to the ground before taking them out from the crowd. but overall it was fun. meet loads of friends. old friends. gig friends. and learnt something. so yea.

cant wait for tomorrow.

gig on 22nd over at ij. tix selling at 5. its 2.30pm people.

[[ fuck security ]]
[[ get this straight. dont come running to me for help. ]]

baybeats 2006

2006-07-14T17:37:00.000+08:00

i guess thats the tittle of everyone's blog site.

todae and tomorrow.

i cant go for rockclimb todae, actually now. cos im too tired and feeling like a pig. yesterdae slept aroud 10?

yes yes. i have sleeping disorder on certain days. i miss rockclimbing with the guys. Next time? next fridae!
guys next fridae...

although i really feel like going.

todae i'll be going with very few people. i'hv been out of the scene for quite a while now and i fee its time to get back. not by baybeats. i have my ways.

school's gonna re-open soon. cant wait to do new module. blah blah blah.

o yes. going overseas and staying together; u might see the true colours and side of ur friends who u thot never. get the words right.

right now warren and yati are playing ghost. seriously whats up with u all keeping quite and stuffs?

anyways sorry for the people i'hv not linked up. give me ur link now! and if u delete my link away its totally understandable.

[[ move along now ]]
[[ die u bitch die! ]]
[[ that was a scene. ]]

bye bye KL, welcome me back singapore.

2006-07-10T21:59:00.000+08:00

hello hello.

didnt get to blog before i went, cos i was too excited for the world cup semi-finals germany against italia. both are my favourite team.

thank god for italia. the last two minutes of extra time. it was beautiful.

then off to sleep and i was awake then got up and woke up the others. freshen up at 830 am and took a cab to lavender reached there abt 9+

waited for the bus till 10.30 boarded. switched on my ipod and slept like a sweet pig. till MACHAP! and eat burgers and got ciggies. loads of em.

headed for pudu where the bus is stopping and we asked for a special request that he sent us to keramat where our condo is. actually its man's.

settl down and chilled after margrib. had a long nice bath. ate at the nearest coffeshop the food was havenly.

then we got all set to go clubbing! haha. it was called the beach. kinda kewl.

the next day too. which was kinda getting boring.

then headed for passion. it gots rave upstairs and RnB downstairs. i was upstairs drinking coke with lime with a seat feeling tired. kinda sick that dae. but enjoyed myself. skyline and nsx cars were there. made my dae. danced downstairs with the guys. and when home. haha. all these took 3 days.

for the other 2 days. we took a break and went shopping. wish i had brought along my cam. didnt take alot of pics the whole trip. sad huh.

did miss some wonderful people in singapore. you should know who u are.

so there ya go. sorry i didnt pick up most of ur calls. in malaysia?

i thot i saw someone.. i dont know.

[[ it was fun ]]
[[ dreams ]]
[[ u're so minah? ]]

give me your kisses before you fade away

2006-06-30T03:10:00.000+08:00

untanted happyness.

try sollowing an apple with barbed wire wrapped around it.

cant wait for fondue...

itmes i want to get which is within reach by my pocket:

the top 10 countdown itmes are:

10. an uncommon belt
9. new set of drumsticks, heavy, light, brush, rake, nylon tip loads of shit.
8. new shades
7. new wardrobe [okay fuck i cant spell.]
6. plug-in earphones from sony.
5. shoes!
4. loads of nike ankle sock [they are freaking comfortable before and after rockclimbing]
3. fishing equipment which most of you will nag to me abt.
2. sports bag
1. money for the KL trip!

aha.

things i will get:

5. psp [ and i dont know what for ]
4. ipod vid [ maybe ]
3. more fishing equipment
2. drumset. i'hv been wanting that.
1. an DSLR eos from canon... i fucking want that badly.

things i dont need:

1. psp

[[ time lets you move on. but its not going to heal all scars. ]]

shesha parlay.

2006-06-29T06:58:00.000+08:00

just got back from work.

gosh so tired. im working saving up for KL (rubbing it in RYNN)

also for sport fishing and rockclimbing stuffs the blah blahs i said a few post ago.

and going to UBIN for some luring which is a fish like fake bait where u can control ur lure and play with it and u just watch the fish chasing it. aw. thats nice.... really it is. the feeling of the fish fighting. the glorious fight.. it is just hooking.

its been 2 weeks since i climbed. anybody up for it? mininum requirements: belaying. thats all

ps: i got a floorball stick up for u GEEK!

[[ foolish heart ]]
[[ change you self-centered butch ]]
[[ kill me and you'll get 3 wishes ]]

holidays are just really starting.

2006-06-26T16:54:00.000+08:00

heys

holidays...

got loads of stuffs planned.

like. going to KL with my rockclimbing friends and of course enjoying ourselves. most of it is KL rather than rockclimb. im not gonna shop there cos im going to thailand soon and i prefer shopping there. maybe if there's a fishing pond near by. okok i'll stop being the fishing freak that i am.

rockclimb
shopping
eat

thats what we're gonna do the whole time.

other than that i dont know what else.

times like this makes me wanna get an DSLR. any brand, but im saving up for the canon! take that. but if i can take a nice picture with just the current camera right now thats fine enough with me.

im gonna miss few people here. quite afew.
you know who u are.

just gonna find myself. relax and let my stressed out soul burn.

aw. just cant wait. and of course watching the world cup and supporting my team. wonder if we're gonna jam there. if we can find a place. haha.

anyone wants me to buy anything for em? just beep yea?

well see you guys.

[[ get of my mind will ya? ]]
[[ the bitterness inside. ]]
[[ you're so gonna fucking get it. ]]

see you at lunch time.

2006-06-18T03:23:00.000+08:00

its nothing.

im bored.

arent you?

cant this just stop?

2006-06-05T01:27:00.000+08:00

why is it so hard?
i just feel like writing down a thousand poems. those previous messages. the feeling of it is still there.
why cant it just go.
a million thots probes the mind.
sometimes i wish love wasnt blind.
but feelings are still not just fine.

you cried for what you have done.
leaving me all alone in the dark
cold and wet; you're fucked up.
you turned your back.
i put up the flag.

you cant see what you're typing.
you're not sure whether you can read it nots.

you're too sorry.
but you moved on.
now im gone.

the heart can tear apart
so what?
things can happen so much more.
but i rather gore more blood.

i missed the promises you made
the cries you hate.
but well. thats fate.
its so stupid to wait.
i rather do my time for the crime.
my love was wrong.

things you said really killed me.

we were friends.
damn y did i misunderstand.
maybe because of the things you told me.
gave me hope.
y dont u give me a rope?

i turned in something i destest.
is it you or is it just me?
the memories just taught me alittle.
never...

but i'll never walk away.

i'll be there helping u.
picking you up when u're down.
give you hope when u're dead.
thats me.
what i found out that i have never let you down.

1 after 1.

[[ it sucked ]]
[[ things off my chest ]]

arent u bored?

2006-06-03T15:28:00.000+08:00

time so little.

2006-05-30T22:55:00.000+08:00

wat a crucial term; time.

i didnt have time to update my blog and i didnt have time to do many other things as well.
like my photography and rockclimbing. school takes up most of it. still i'll alwaes have time for it sooner or later. i alwaes have time for fishing. so maybe i'll mix up photography and fishing. music is part of my life.

caught a long eel the other time. it was a great fight. it tastes good too. i have tried the one i just caught but previous catch proved to me that the term "taste like chicken" really does taste like chicken. maybe just the feel of the flesh. but overall it was superb. you gotta try somethings in life.

been busy wit shesha and fishing. come to think of it thats just all.
sorry haily. i'll make time.

exams are coming soon. i have only 2 weeks and i just got a piece of paper to revise on. the usuall please. mocha and my big book of valves and drafting and fabrication. its like we're doing every god damn thing tat the other kids from the other courses are doing.

warren and yati are crazy fools.

thnks for everything sabbby.
riot for u.

[[ things arent meant to sail smoothly. ]]
[[ death for it. ]]
[[ iron cobra double paddle pure sliver ]]

long time.

2006-05-21T06:42:00.000+08:00

woo.
just got back from meeting old friends over at KTM.

before that.

i went to ngee ann's concert band with warren nas and nadia which was fun by the way.

nas wanted to pay for my ticket.

THANKS!

i dont normally do this but whathecks.

it was fun in a way.
all of us. were sarcastic bastards.

well wished we could have spent more time.

im tired and i dont noe wat to talk abt.

o yea. i really feel sad as it is for you.
i really do.

[[ im famished ]]
[[ rockclimbing world cup june ]]
[[ warrenyappo ]]

sick, sick as can be.

2006-05-16T16:49:00.000+08:00

heys.

you guys out there asking me to update. here i am. gonna do it.

thnks yati.

lets start.

do what u can today than wait for tomorrow. let it flow through your mind. think abt it.

i tink you should do things today than put it off. lets say after eating and you're too engrossed in watching DIA and the best part is coming up. so u say u'll put the plate later but it never did end up in the sink. instead under your bed with croakcoaches and gekko and stuffs. blahs. u get what i mean.

fishing.
suddenly, im so into fishing. i'll go anywhere to fish. kelong, pasir ris park( even though there are cikpon's its fucking true boys and girls. i tink im gonna snap if i see one then be sick for a month ) pulau ubin. anywhere. even though it hurts. physically and emotionally say the sand flies and mosquitos and the things that fly pass u. playing with your every thought. its scary. but its all for the fishes. im gonna pump in alittle more cash for fishing.

drums.
dad says i cant get a drumset. cos he knows i gots money. fuck it. so im gonna jam myself even if i have to. at school. or studio. just to improve myself. to be a better drummer. so that i can live up to my nickname. i dont tink thats a suitable one for me right now. thats all i wanted. maybe i'll get other percussions like the djembe or congo's and bango's get it?..

a few days ago i jammed wit the others. it was okay. i just played too loud. and on that day i wanted to be noticed cos there was this snobbish drummer next door who was freaking spoiling my beat when we were playing. fuck him. like as if he can play a 16-beat.

a new cut.
my hair. its okay. do u guys think so? the new cut? i feel like going back to the old. will see how.

rockclimbing.
again. i need a rockclimbing khaki. who ever can? please. i need to practice. its been long. anybody?

sick.
im the sickest i ever been in my entire life.

i got high fever, i cant talk out loud, im weak. lots of shit. but i still can drum. haha. actually practice my showmanship( the fancy stuffs drummers do )

i want to open it. but i cant. im just to reluctant. i cant do it. i'll wait till the time is right. by then. who knows what might happen. and peoms are coming up soon. sick.

[[ give ur complements. ]]
[[ think, think and think ]]
[[ russian guilt and love ]]

2006-05-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

YATI

WAS

HERE

FALIQ

KINDA

LAZY

UPDATE

BLOG

HAHAHAHA...

FALIQ

TALL

HANDSOME

GUY..

burned.

2006-04-22T02:54:00.000+08:00

fishing.
went fishing in the morning yesterday at about 2 till 5. caught loads of fishes but cute little ones. but the place was eerie and cold and misty. and there were strange smells and all but it kinda gives me a rush. happy wit my catch. but missed a big one. after that we went to 7-eleven and got some cup noodles and went home.

slept at 6+ and got up around 5. pig huh. called wan and asked him to rockclimbed. met deang and did wit wani if thats her name. climbed till 9.30 and smoked shesha over at tanjong pagar railway ate there and went home by cab.

met an sunny and josh chilled for awhile and planned for jamming session soon.

[[ trapped ]]
[[ feel so fucked up ]]
[[ under the boardwork ]]

sweet taste of black dizzie

2006-03-21T08:02:00.000+08:00

skathingy
it was fun. gsc was there. nice. was boozing too much so there are only certain things i can remember. and dont wanna remember. but overall it was fun. wit friends and all.

school
monday sucks. cos i have to go home at 6 on that dreadful day. and fuck it. i hate that dae. on that dae we have a 2 hour break. and some of my friends decided to get coffee over at ite simei and the mocha sucks. so guys please dont ever buy mocha there. if u have a two hour break take a walk to eastpoint where real coffee is. starbucks. rhumba. warren's and yati's favourite drink. just because they have freaking bit for u to chew on. hak.

its 8 am
i really cant sleep so i keep getting up early. and im hoping for something but i dont wanna hope cos it might end up being the same thing so im relie in a freaking fuck thight fucking shit thinking... when u're drunk and u go to sleep after wateva; u dream of the fcuking weirdest thing u ever dreamt of. mine was so fucking weird.

[[ dream when u're feeling blue. ]]
[[ dream till ur hopes get shattered ]]
[[ just watch the tears fall ]]

sad night.

2006-03-14T18:14:00.000+08:00

romancticly acholic
went out to esplanade for some music then i decided to get some drinks. since mike and clark were there. so bought baron and some bacardi's. sat by the waterbreaker again. wat flashbacks. so started drink. a few tins and im out. watched them. doing stupid stuffs. we went out wit 11 guys. only 5 of em were drunk. it was super funny. i was super drunk. it was a pretty long time we hanged out. then all of us decided to go home after that. i wasnt walking straight.

pasir ris.
three of us headed for pasir ris. since everyone was out at my sis's new house. we bought more drinks and drank at the park. 1 of em didnt drink. before i entered my house i drank again. i tink im gonna get a fat tummy. its all about drink. like fucks. so my memory is lost abt the drinking scarade( how the fuck u spell that? ).

i remembered i was spilling out loads of vulgar. then i turned on the computer. so guys if u were fucked by me. im fucking sorry? i dont noe who i was scolding. i wasnt myself. so please.

woke up. the computer was off and i was on the sofa. i tink i was on the sofa before i switched off the computer. so i dont noe. everything on msn i said was there. i tink it was my sis.. i wished i knew wat i said on msn. fuck it...........

[[ i drank again anonymous. i relie wanna noe who u are. why would u care abt me? ]]

[[ enjoy ur holidaes motherfuckers. ]]
[[ drinks. yummy. ]]

boozing by the seaside and memories flashed back

2006-03-12T04:20:00.000+08:00

early morns.
woke up at 10. slept again till 1? called the guys met hanafi and his girl. then took the train and went to city hall and met the others. there was sha, rizal, khai and hoazse.

food.
went to fastfood for lunch. was buying food when the authorities (im so fucking tired i dont noe whether i spelt that correctly) came and asked them for freaking id's cos they were underaged smoking. i just finished buying my meal and went there. i fucking questioned them why they were here and a friend of mine was smoking. 1 of em. and they asked for my id. i told them they dont need it cos i wasnt smoking. then they ask me to fucking declare if i got ciggies on me. and i dont. so i just sat there and ate. the guy asked abt my pierce. i mean fuck u. there u are doing a summon and ur partner; asking me if it hurt. i just ignored him and ate. wakco.

sprits low.
after raising everybody's sprit; we headed to esplanade for some drinking. yea.. boozing. bought it and drank at the waterbreaker cos the rooftop was closed. after awhile we took off cos i got a chalet to go to and the guys wanted to go home. said our goodbyes and went off. wit me were sha hanafi and rizal. sent sha to his chalet hanafi and rizal went home. headed there. went to pasir ris park after food. and drank. nice. it was beer then liqiur.. all the wae. god the gals could take fucking booze. or liquior. drank talked smoked. then dad and bro had to give a fucking fone call asking me to come home at 12. but went back at 2. after more boozing. its nice to do that once in a while.

anonymous. i fucking drank.

laughing gas makes u laugh. echo's...

[[ best thing to do when u feel like fuck ]]

[[ just back off before i fucking snap. ]]

[[ all these things.... tsk tks tks ]]

Colour in shades of blood.

2006-03-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

this week.
its fun when its gonna be the week-end.
school starts at 8 and ends at 12. going to pasir ris then maybe hang out or something then head to tampines stadium. tomorrow im gonna attend sports day. i tink. ya. then a party. somewhere.

thats my friday.

gig at far east.
gonna attend a friend's band after that im gonna go off and meet the guys wit their girls and play a little pool.

saturday.

Punk Rock Return.
another friend gonna play at PRP so just going there to support wit a few others. see ya there pat.

[[ thats my dae ]]
[[ and i feel fucked up ]]

who the fuck is anonymous?

scars dont close. my scar that is.

2006-03-03T18:57:00.000+08:00

gigs.
tis month there are gonna be a whole lot of gigs. there's one on 11th, 18th and so on.

fone.
im thinking of getting a new fone but im not sure wat to get. any suggestions?

anybody wanna go for rockclimbing?

[[ fuck u. fuck u for everything. fuck every shit u done to me. ]]

[[ i wish i didnt see wat i have saw. ]]
[[ nothing's working. ]]

thinking it back over and over and over and over

2006-02-24T06:24:00.000+08:00

weirdo.
im not myself lately. o fuck. im alwaes not my fuckingself. woke up at 4 am and i got school in 2 hours. gonna get ready soon. so who the fuck blogs in the morning when there's school later. i tink im not the only fucking weirdo.

school.
im gonna have P.E. or SW first. i tink its gonna be soccer. i hope it is. star goalkeeper. and i used to suck at it. after that its gonna be fucking fabrication. computer to machine thingy. its fuck. gonna hear my song and do the job asap. after that lesson ends and we gonna have a session after school and then my fellow peers which i tink are gonna follow me to percussion soul band then rockclimbing later on. im not sure.

anyone interested?

my thoart.
i can fucking gore and scream maybe growl. and fuck its not nice. hats off to pat for her growl and shit. its nice. fucking nice. and my thoart hurts; the smoke is taking its toll. hmm i wonder how long will i have to stand the fucking pain.

percussion.
later have to attend the cca. im so bored wat the fuck... went jamming yesterdae and i suck at the drums i cant even play the fucking simple fucked up song. wat a fake!. fuck me man. i gotta play it. since when did i suck. maybe its becos its been a fucking long time.. well its me so fuck it. im good on the snare but not the fucking drums. god of hate...

ps: to whom it may concern, throwing peanuts is fucking lame and not fucking funny. land a fucking blow on me if u dare asshole and we can trade em and so who can fucking last... see u around. when u see me punch me real hard. we'll see who passes out.

[[ stop the ache. ]]
[[ u cannot kill wat u did not create ]]
[[ aw. fuck u ]]

look alikes make me sick

2006-02-22T10:07:00.000+08:00

blogged?
the 6 weeks in school was 6 weeks of holiday. things were easy. friends are great. the food's good too. and cca's are okay. right now i only have 3 which are rockwall climbing( which i suck at ), photography and percussion soul band. i wanted to try something new so i didnt pick the toms or the bass... pick the djemba or something like that. it was fun though. gonna play soon. tis coming march. i could have a solo if i picked the toms. but everyone will switch instruments. so will wait for it.

i suck at rockwall; after the run and push-ups i was already tired. so my arm was weak. and fuck i feel like a weakling not completing that wall. but i got credits for my half way climb... hak.

photography hasnt started yet but if its not then im gonna concentrate on rockwall.

weird things have been happening.
well the thing is, people have been telling me that i have been acting weird lately i just wanna say that if i was walking with a group of friends or alone and i happen to make eye contact with you but not saying hi. shout hi to me. i might even see u right infront. so do say i to me. its not that im trying to be wateva but try to understand.

[[ take the scream out of me ]]

being hurt is better than hurting others.

2006-02-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

being hurt is better than hurting others.

2006-01-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

summary.
staying here. watching myself in the mirror wit the luffing gas in my brain for the time being im watching myself smile after a period of time. it was nice to see. but it wasnt me. it was the gas. and it was out of my system fast. would i still be the same? i keep asking myself the question. staying there awhile. i left myself. my real self. a joyful happy go lucky smilling bastard. under the circumstances. hear the loud music blasting. the heart aches. and the problems arent fading away. it feels like summer again. the time i should be happy changed to the worst time of my life. these things get in my way. just like a storm. it feels like im about to lose my mind. and i dont have much inside. i try to be my real self but it is mixing with other emotions. i dont feel normal. and i have to stop lying to myself. but i dont wanna leave. summer changed me. for the good, for the worst. so do i still have to keep asking myself. that there is much more to life than this? i try to walk away but... it seems so hard. and no matter wat people say it just wont go through... u cant hurt a hurt person. it wont work. it never does. it feels so wrong. and where are you now..... u moved on. and now im gone. u wont go ever looking back and say i want you. tears are flowing. blood; drips. i dont noe. somehow the mood changes. and yea. i want you. but its so hard. everytime i tink of you. everywhere i look its u. i see you. so much i miss you. here i am and there u are. and the dreams. cry myself to sleep at night just the thought of you. the good times we had. i dont noe if u felt good... just dont forget it. i remember it just like yesterday. our lifes. so similar. i noe there is no more chance. i can never let you go. i cant bear to say goodbye. i close my eye and i see you. sounds fucking corny. cant hold back these tears. miss my one chance to say. and i feel like im at fault. these scars are the memories for the years to come. open wounds; broken hearts. i dont noe if u felt the same. somehow things can never be the same and i dont noe when it will heal. and somehow u change me how i tink. u saved me from my past. but when it ended it ended real bad. why cant i get u out of me. now i have conclusions and looking for the answers. i thot otherwise. these memories and things they are bringing me down. love can fade.... and yea it can break away and fuck it can be forgotten but it can not replaced. yours. so goodbye.

[[ i'll miss you ]]
[[ the pain control my every thot ]]
[[ i cant wait to see the day..... ]]

she wont let me.

2006-01-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

sports.
had rockclimbing yesterday. was super fun. at last got to let go of my enegry on some rocks. completed a few routes. a weak thin stick as u people like to call me. climbed and pushed myself. met new friends and one of them was a freaking spidey. they said it will take time for those who hadnt climbed for a long time to get their inner strength and upper body. so just have to train. i took atleast abt 3 mins to climb and spidey(firman) took only 1. that fucking kid. cant wait for the next session....

floorball.
i hope i wont suck at it. if im better at it than rockclimbing then i'll go ahead with floorball...

gigs.
skafest. who's going? tag.

hardcore emo gig.
on 18 and 25 of feb. be there bitches. ouhyar. fuck u all.

[[ skanking good time ]]
[[ laughing gases ]]
[[ the feeling never goes. ]]

up to the top.

2006-01-20T17:57:00.000+08:00

a week of school.
school was okay. fun. great. got alot of friends. met alot of ex-coral. loads of project works and all. i got to go for floorball clinic. then jazz band. after that its percussion soul band. and then there's photography. i tink i have to quit a few... and if i dont feel good at something then i'll join rockclimbing....

testimonial.
hate it when i have to go back to coral a few times. the first day was when i had to take the testimonial but they werent ready. 2ndly was that they printed wrongly. and now i have to go back to change it. wtf.

[[ fuck it. im changing cca. ]]

bodysurfing in the mists of moshpits

2006-01-16T01:22:00.000+08:00

school's
its gonna start tomorrow and my fucking pants is left over at the place cos im making it into a straight cut cut cut cut. so after tat i went to suntec for some shopping. and it was okay. found a good store. havent been sleeping. must be the fucking loads of mocha.

studio gigs.
met haqem axel and khai. surprise to see em. it was fun. they didnt mosh alot but the did at last. and i got bodysurfed. kewl. axel as well. the gig yesterday was the best fucking gig ever. met loads of pple whom i saw yesterdae. haha fuck me. got drunk! beer yesterdae tasted good. there was tis gal who got bodysurfed and in the mosh pit there were mostly guys and u can freaking count the gals. there were 4 and 2 were beside me. i was so fucking high i didnt noe they had fucking pussys cos they moshed like guys. then i had a had elbow to my ribs. i looked up wanting to elbow back and there were BOOBS! wtf rite? so i didnt. but they were fucking fuck good moshers. aniweas the gal who got body surfed was touched by other guys whom raging hormons were raging. fuck me im tired... thnks for the great time guys. i was dragged down to be there by pat. fuck u pat!

[[ gigs and moshing good time ]]
[[ fuck u all ]]
[[ and fuck beer! ]]

cut, ripped and torn apart

2006-01-11T12:16:00.000+08:00

haircuts.
dont really fancy it though. although different haircuts makes me look different. now my hair is relie short and its kinda short. and short. very short. short short. the short of the shorties. short. its a shock. everything is. but it'll grow.

yesterday...
it was such a bad day. lost 3 of my things...

1. lip stud.
2. wrist guard( my wrist worn out after a full out drum session ) ( 1 minute 1199 strokes. ) highest record of 1573... going there. soon.... after my wrist heals.
3. my hair. my long hair. why am i so fucked up about my long hair.

went to mcdonalds for my dine so went to get my new stock of studs. have to change everyday. cant wait to put the ring on.... school's gonna start next week and friends from there all telling me wat to do and stuffs. so still stuck at these 4 cca's cut down 1.

so it:
rockclimbing
floorball
high jump
band.

either 2 of these. so pls help..

went home then everything was going smoothly. thot it was going fine. was cutting something and didnt intend on cutting anything else. actually i did but then cut my finger was kinda long cut. and it bled much. went to the toilet. didnt hurt. just bled. blood was free flowing. then my piercing was bleeding as much as the cut. everything was bleeding... yea. everything...

[[ something else... ]]
[[ blender. ]]
[[ goodbye ]]
[[ saw it before it began ]]
[[ took 1 small ........ ]]
[[ it may be over but i wont stop there ]]
[[ change my life and all my goals ]]
[[ i was blinded ]]
[[ broke my spirt. memory gone ]]
[[ i noe ur fears and u noe mine. ]]
[[ cant live without you ]]
[[ and i still cant move on ]]
[[ is there any medication? ]]

changed person for the seasons to come.

2006-01-07T02:14:00.000+08:00

never found a way.
its been ever since so long i have blogged. things are alwaes the same. never changed. this year has been a tough one for me. alot of things happen. they changed i changed.

last year's resolutions:

i forgot.

this year's resolutions:

try to cut down on smoking. and do more social smoking.*
dont lose focus on studies.*
spend less money than last year.
be a better percussionist.*
stop drinking too much.
be more decisive.
be less lazy
be early for everything. but if i dont then its not gonna be faliq.*
alot of people told me this. be less sad and be more faliq. guys. i'll try it. its not that i dont want to but there are situations preventing that.

and there are somethings i owe. just a person. u'll get it back.

the game illys sent me.

5 things weird about me.

i dont eat fast food veggies.
i say something out; out of the blue.
i never fail to surprise people. in a good or bad way.
i tend to forget things easily.
people tell me that i can convice them easily. i dont noe.. so there it is....

[[ things gone changed ]]
[[ u moved on. i have not. so be it. ]]
[[ thnks for caring. but i didnt need it.. ]]

not now. dont wanna hear a thing u wanna say.

2005-12-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

sorry guys. just dont feel like blogging. and thnks to those for the congrats. thnks alot. and to those who wanna meet. better make it quick...

[[ thnks ]]
[[ meetups? ]]

burst bubbles of thoughts

2005-12-23T16:16:00.000+08:00

school's gonna start
its gonna be 10 days till school starts. i dont noe when ite starts but its gonna be later then normal school... hope i get the subs i want. if not then im gonna take mdm or mecha. wan is thinking of shatec of lassell which i wanted to go but i wasnt the fuck supporting myself. yati went to take her results i went wit warren. wished i could see the fucked up class for the last time. no worrys. call u guys up for shahirah bday party... how many of u are going to simei?

werk.
gonna stop werk. continue wit it is totally fucked up. warren quited.. salutes to u man. now im a permanent at www. fuck mans. aniweas gonna see that motherfucker soon. at 5 then shop for chirstmas present. gonna get myself a swatch. ipodvid. and 2 converse shoes. 1 shud be black leather. aww. leather... shud splurge after all those fucked up hard work...

sleepyhead.
yesterday met up wit khalis and ken. the double k. after work. was playing soccer. and its been long. veery long. since i played soccer. played for an 1. then they sat and talked. i fell asleep while both of them were talking... i mean i didnt sleep. again. went to werk at 9. finish my full shift. then played soccer. then i slept. on the bench. while they were talking. when i open my eyes they were staring at me. fuck. then ken had to go home and i fell asleep again. tis time my fone rang and it was warren. then 2 guys in blue came. it was the police. check and finish they were off.

[[ excess blood. ]]
[[ great sins of marriliush ]]
[[ crush it. broke it. tore it. and kept it under ur bed ]]

wow. shocked and amazed.

2005-12-20T19:40:00.000+08:00

taking the cert.
i was scared. so was khalis. and saiful too. we were all scared. thot we failed. thot we did badly... then saiful msged and told me i had done quite well. i was jumping at the central food court. was so fucking happy. after all these months. all these studies didnt went down the drain. those times at the cafe. and during those hard times... kinda feeling great just for today. then tmr gonna feel shitty again.

but to those who failed; do better...

felt sad. for everything. even the bird that was run over. kinda nice but sad. aniwaes celebrated after that by going to the library to read the theme song newyork, newyork percussion scores. i imagined it sounded well. then went home.

promised alwani i would go to the movies wit her. see u tmr.......

i would like to take this time to thank those who help, encouraged, supported and gave words of wisdoms. thank you all. did that sounded like a fucking award? aniwaes thnks guys.

afiqah. GEEK
illys. smellymelly. illsa.
yati. lost star.
wardah. crazed.
sabblicious.
marc.
fazdy.
ery
kelson
eil

actually i wanna name the whole list but im kinda tired just finished werk from 9 till it closed... so to those who wished me luck i love u all. thnks.

if ur name wasnt here pls tag.
if ur name was here pls tag.
if u help or [blahs]3 pls tag.

nadsy. sorry i couldnt help u wit ur mp3. u were asleep! darn u...

[[ thnks u all. ]]
[[ didnt noe i would get it.. amazed. ]]
[[ like i said. everywhere i'd go i would see u u ]]

moshes and farewells.

2005-12-19T05:39:00.000+08:00

gig.
went to the gig at subC which was super fucking mosh wit the punks. went wit my friends. reached there bought tickets. went in. surprised. saw many of my other friends. talked outside. they were drinking. of cos after moshing u'll get hurt. damn hurt. elbowed in the ribs and stuffs.

after gigs.
chilled at the park wit some punks. when home then khalis called at about 2+ thnks. went to his house for some mini-party. it was only the 3 of us. him me and saiful. played some music. the guitar. my drumpad. then computer all the way. after that started some fights. which was funny. me and khalis were pillow fighting. then i slammed him in the ribs which then saiful got out of the way. he had tis metal bar in his hands. he was twriling it and then the bar hit his head. which we all luff like hell. then he acted like he wanted to slam us but his head knocked onto the double bed of khalis which he then fell down to the floor. which we luff harder. which he then tried to slam again but hit his head harder on the same place. which i luff tis my stomach hurts so much i fell to. fuck him. it was so funny. fucks fucks fucks.

then went surfing on the net again. i was sleeping for awhile. so tired....

after our goodbyes had my breakfast wit khalis at 5. eat some chicken rice and then fled home. saw zul on the way. he just fucked a woman. big banging....

tommorow its gonna be n'level taking day. think could cut the tension wit a knife. gonna go to cafe galilee where we all used to study for the n's.. after that some shopping.. poor fuckedup saiful spoiled his black converse wit bleach. wat a thing. so i tink he's gonna get a converse tmr if not im gonna get it and 2 black pants. and jeans. mayb a shirt or 2.

kudos to orkestra melayu singapura (BELIA) for their great performance yesterday. loves the gamelan ( Ga Meh Lan ) nice. kudos to you all.

good luck for all the motherfucks who are gonna take their n'level tmr. good lucks.

[[ i dont need this. ]]
[[ ooh ooh somebody's hurt and i think its me. ]]

[[ go to fuck with your fucking life. stop pretending. stop talking. just go. ]]

looking back at all those things.

2005-12-17T16:46:00.000+08:00

no more sleep.
i feel like shits. didnt sleep for i tink 2 daes. and i dont tink im gonna get any sleep todae. conference here and there. meeting new people... well most of underground. werk was kinda super shitty... when are we gonna meet.

double paddle was super great. the beat was nice. fucks shits i want it. it was like playing a single stroke on a snare. but i did have flaws and have alot of things to work on.
things:
snaring.
solo
beat
songs.

gonna go to a malay playing ochestra later at an old airfield where me faizal and wan played nike football once. somewhere near there. heard the percussion rocks. funny. aniwaes be back late. so u guys msg me if u got anithing.

thnks to warren for his words of wisdom.
thnks to you all for complimenting my weird hair-do. which wasnt weird a single bit.

[[ pain that's felt inside ]]

[[ eyes burning out. ]]
[[ suffered enough ]]

everywhere i turn i see you.

2005-12-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

since long.
its been long eversince i'hv blogged. werk and werk and werk. its kinda sad. aniwaes its alwaes sad. pple wanting to look literally punkrock. mixing PUNK wit PUNKROCK. buying a sidezip. wat the hell were u thinking... try wearing that to a gig. and we see wat happens. cant wait.

todae was fucking hectic.
saiful jump into the train b4 it was closing. salute. went shopping wit them. tmr i wanna get my fucking converse. and some pants for the upcoming gig. cant wait. going wit khalis. maybe. maybe saiful. gonna fucking mosh till i bleed. ah. cant wait. hope its gonna be soon. went shopping wit my staff. haks. played bowling and pool. kinda fun. but thens.

im gonna be straight forward.
y is it so hard to move on. its been so long but i cant. just cant. and now its getting harder. i dont understand. its stuck. im stuck. its been so long... i just cant understand.
wat i got after pay.
purple stripe shirt
converse shoes.(gonna get 1 more)
vic-firth 7A american hickory(at fucking last)

coming soon.
converse shoes
more shirts and jeans.

coming later.
digital camera.
drumset.

[[ stuck in time and confusion. ]]
[[ everywhere i turn i see you. ]]
[[ i never thot it would happen. ]]

copycats and empty followers.

2005-12-11T01:06:00.000+08:00

something for the odd.
raining is good. love it. aniwaes werk was shitty as usually. had a great time yesterday. todae was kinda day dreaming. khalis was a beach junkie. he was living it for a day. haks. SALUTE. after werk went to meet warren and his gal. had dinner. and then went back to downtown for some bowling. sits at the parks then went home. kinda bored. cos they could meet. ishs.

wanks.
stop trying to act like as if u're gothic. damn it. u and ur apparel. u dont have freaking knowledge. stop buying those stuffs. get ur freaking knowlegde of the freaking culture. and the first thing abt cultures. it is not a fashion statement. god wats wit u all? emogothic? wat the fuck. u're never emo. yet u're acting like it. be urself for god sakes. dont tell the whole world u are. stop saying it. and the fuck i dont see u at gigs. ever. but if thats wat you want it to be then forget wat i said. just dont let me see u. and dont ever come to me...

friends
guys. when are we gonna meet? we all promised that we are gonna meet 1 of these days. hope we do..

[[ visions are blurr. ]]

[[ cry for you ]]

[[ listen to it. ]]

stripes of purple green and white.

2005-12-10T03:35:00.000+08:00

stripes.
didnt go to werk todae.*(long story) at abt 6 went to sakura. first got my skyblue shirt on. then i had to change so went to the toilet. forgot to withdraw money for the movie. then i went to the mrt station... ate at sakura and waiting for them to knock off. which was abt 10pm. they changed into their stripes and we headed to tampines.

had a freaking hard time choosing the movie. its either chicken little or harry potter. we actually wanted to watch emily rose or saw II. but the others cant go home late so we ended up watching harry potter. still they complained that the freaking movie was too long and should have instead watched chicken little. shud have.. mayB...

during the movie we were super noise wit our food. then joked. but overall it was okay. werk. heks. had to go home early. tt was the boring part.

here were some of the stupid things we did b4 the movie started:

after the long long long long stupid starting and stupid ending:

[[ long and short ]]

[[ before and after. ]]

[[ green white and purple ]]

holding back memories.

2005-12-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

went shops.
shopping wit khalis and saiful. kinda fun. bought a nice shirt. and tts all. wtf.. didnt had much time. gonna watch movie after tat. kinda sad to talk to much todae. so i'll continue to listen to my music....

[[ all i have ]]
[[ holding secrets. ]]

laying down in pain

2005-12-05T11:24:00.000+08:00

yesterday
went wit saiful and ken to town. saiful wanted to get a shirt and i brought loads of cash. we headed to tangs. on the way there; a kid wit drumsets. and the first thing that came to mind was a kid that plays drums which i have heard abt. and greatshitofwisdom he was fucking good. he was like a mini mikeportnoy( 1 great drummer ) and i relie have to say he was better than me. god i have alot to learn. seriously. so we watched him play. i looked in amazment. he was fucking fucking fucking good. i cant believe him. he played loads of song. then tis lil kid which i assumed is his bro. he wanted to sit on the drums and damn rite he could play. its was kewl. then we had a chat wit the father and ethan ong ( the kiddo drummer ) which was a total cutie. he was kewl. he has my salute. he just learned his triplets yesterday and started using it todae. something like that u get the idea. if only he learned his paradilies. L-R-L-L R-L-R-R. he would be awesome.
says goodbye.

headed to tangs
saiful bought an original nike. and i bought a converse again. im gonna get more.. the 1 i bought was dark brown. im gonna get those new "skins". looks nice. just waiting for my pay. still long. then we ate at sakura. saw athena and fid. my gig going friends. they were eating wit family. so then athena( loves how her name sounds ) ( greek goddess of wisdom ) came and asked if we wanted to go to esplanade for some fun. then. we all went our own ways for some window shopping. then farhana msged and asked to meet at the mrt station when she could have said that we could have met at the fucking mac. shitsheads! cos they were there. met them and seems like athena was in tears. were? dont noe wat happen. think they fought. then headed to esplanade i talked to athena. she was almost my height. my age. kinda fun to talk to some1 face to face without the hassle of looking up or down. for awhile there. aniwes she sounded okay. i tink she's been keeping something inside. dont wanna be a part of tis. then they got on the bus. sat together suddenly fid went to sit at the back. then blahs and after many blahs they're okay and during that time they were talking i was listening to music and looking at the stars. all nite. then fid and athena came back and they were okay. as i said. go go emo rangers. hak! nice 1 athena. cos my msg ring tone is the powerrangers theme song. go go emo rangers. go go emo rangers mighty morphin emo rangers... she was singing that all dae. kapoww. then we had to say our goodbyes cos fid stays at yishun and she stays at woodlands while me ken fahana and her friend took to tampines. got off and rushed to the movie theather. and everything was closed. then we watched harry potter. go figure.

went home straight.
gonna watch drumline over at saiful's.

[[ rangers ]]
[[ ethan ong singapore's youngest busker ]]
[[ triplets and paradillies ]]

looked less alive.

2005-12-04T01:33:00.000+08:00

trust.
i dont trust anione easily. in fear of being backstabbed and shits. seems like my words healed my friends. i didnt noe. i wish my words could heal myself.

came to werk at 0930. tired. stood up all dae. fcuks. then after werk met saiful played bowling. saw shareza. talktalktalk then after that went for supper. there was tis gal who looked weird and kept looking at either me or saiful. it was kinda scary. she stared as if we ever did something to her. then she smiled. weird. super weird.

tmr.
gonna go shopping.(fyi havent got my pay yet so dont ask for treats) wit saiful. then meet khalis at tamp for some emily rose show. kinda tired. sweet dreams lovely.

[[ if werds could heal. if looks could kill ]]

[[ whether to survive ]]
[[ trust. ]]

droping arms and running away.

2005-12-02T12:52:00.000+08:00

yesterdae was just full of pain. it controlled my thots. so i guess u saw me. u smile at me. but u looked different. u looked thinner. u looked taller. but that face i cant never forget. even we met and talked for a short moment. u looked so different. u seemed like u knew me. u do. not me. i forgot who u were. but it was familar. blood rushed thru my head. i hope u didnt tell. maybe it was just something between u and me. maybe u still had that special feelings for me. but the time was awkward. she told me. on that day i wasnt sure who i was suppose to have seen. u or her. i couldnt have done anithing. i was wondering where the other 1 was. deep down inside memories began to the words she said... u werent there. i dont noe if u noe things that happened. life's been on the rocks. this is how it has alwaes been. i relie cant believe things i have saw. when i got up. u walked away.

and it was different. all of this. wat was it suppose to say. wat was the meaning. maybe u were right. maybe i shud i gone. but i didnt. and still i dont want to move on. let me be. the quench of thirst of love u crave. the things u said. makes me go around. makes me fall. and fall again. but those moments wit u. were u just playing with me? the times we had. i think u forgot. stop try to take it all away from me. dont feel regret. u wanna be like that. go ahead. its you. not me. someday it'll get up to u. and ur cries will end up in vain. never will i hear. never will i fall into the deep dark hole. because of you i ended up like this. because of you. because of you. the pain that runs thru my vains. u dont noe how i feel. u dont noe how hurt i felt. when u said that. u dont noe a thing abt hurt. while its fun to get others hurt. wats wit you. i dont understand. y do i keep falling. why cant u just the fuck keep out of my way. the more i think the more i wish someone will just kill me and rid me of the feeling that is alike being stab in the heart.

i dont tink i can face it again. it'll be long enuff before i can face it again. u do noe how it feels to be torn apart? do u noe how it feels to be alone? im thankful for the friends i have that cared. the feeling just wont stop. i feel out of control. dont ever speak my name. the wounds never heal wit time. i dont noe y. just get away. it was the only way to be.

it crossed out. the hopes have became doubts... see how things go.

[[ these feelings ]]

[[ these hopes ]]

[[ these blood ]]

hope is such a waste.

2005-12-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

shits.
forgot my fucking password on friendster. fuckings shits. fuck. hate it . fuckings fucks. now i cant log in. fucks. so fucking fucked up.

todae ate wit my staffs. haslam and bad. it was okay....

warren is a big mother fucks. thnks for watching emily rose without me! hip hip! hurray!

they went for holidays.
wan: aussie.(soccer tournament)
marc: thailand.( home econ learns)
faizal: kuala lumpur.( holiday)
me: stuck in s'pore.(work)

got to get a fucking vacation.

guys cant wait to meet tis sat and sun. i hope i can.

lungs aching when i breath. is there something wrong wit me? i feel cold. my heart feels sicks. it hurts when i speak. this is not wat i care for.

[[ no looking back the past will stay. ]]
[[ move on i cant. ]]
[[ fading away. ]]

4/4 rock beat.

2005-11-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

werk.
started at 3.30. met khalis b4 i went. todae i had to do TS(top up station) which means u have to top up pples funkey. surprisingly met most of my friends doing ts. i had to call them sir and shits and pretend to smile. i tink tis sat if i were to go for soccer training they would mock me. well fuck it. todae was relax. sitting in a air-conned room and just wait for customers. but i had fucking shortage. means i have to pay back extra for the cash i had lost. lucky it was just 23 bucks. fucks that shit. shudnt they have a cashier machine or something the fuck shits. if i get more fucking shortage im gonna quit. will werk somewhere.... mayB not werk at all.

after werk went for dines at macs wit warren and sherline. talking to sherline was fun. warren and i as usuall making each other luff. then kenny and khally came. asked them to meet me. talk talk talk talk talk talk talk and talk. soon it was 10.30 saiful called then we headed to park for more talks.... it was great after werk. i tink we're gonna have it tmr. planning to be done......

i relie gotta stop smoking. its killing my thoart. i relie cant help it. said that i have to stop it for my own. but i cant.

promised loads of pple loads of presents.
loads. so just wait okies..... wait till i get my pay check.

shud i change my blog?
shud i colour my hair?
shud i get a tattoo?
shud i get new shoes? ( i tink that is a yes from warren yati and xiu yong. )

[[ the devil inside. ]]

[[ i need something to be there forever ]]

missing the sound of percussion

2005-11-28T01:19:00.000+08:00

beats.
yesterdae promised that i would show up but had some shit. so cant. sorry. make it up. then had to leave khalis and saiful at town cos i was gonna send wan to airport. then after sending him su sab went separate ways while i followed dali to meet his friend at starbucks. call the other lapoks but they went home... so went to me my other friends at substation. walked to esplanade and saw an indonesian percussion band playing. told them to have some sits wit the others at the other side while i enjoy some music. soon after talked to fad and faris then we all actually wanted to play some pool but it didnt happen. so went to pasir ris and had some late dinner wit pat. the new jap burger and fries were nice. then went home. so fucking bored. play xbox till i fell asleep. dream abt drums... kewl... was playing like hell. then suddenly my manager came into it and i woke up. went to have some food at swensens and zoomed off to werk. have to go for some chirstmas party on the 23rd. and u have to give a present worth more than 5 bucks. fuck it.

called khalis and saiful to have some late dinning at central... on the wae i stepped on some fucking shits. felt something soft. i wished it was mud... cleaned it off and headed to food place. ate and talked alot... after that sat under the void deck and took loads of pics wit saiful handfone. kewl kewl. then went home....

tmr we're gonna eat at cavana's and all. i still wanna watch emily rose. damn it.

[[ where have u been?(song) ]]
[[ if it could kill... ]]
[[ hurts. ]]