a bullet through the heart </3

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

todae at skool was strange. went there feeling sad. wanted to noe wat will i get for maths. i know i failed. i just know. sometimes wit friends they make me happy. then i'll be sad.. is it so obvious? i dont noe.

i passed my english. but somehow i noe its not enuff. i know someone in singapore in another skool in the technical stream has done better than me. someone. and i wanna be that someone. in english. cpa. eoa. and i just want to pass my maths. i wanna be the best. but its so hard. i cant explain wat happen to me. i did alot of careless mistakes. i got shitty marks. lower than expected. compesion. i could have passed. but i came to the hall knowing that i'll fail. just like that... but looking at it again. i could have passed. i dont wanna let those people down.

i looked at it again. and i can do it. wat izzit wit me? i dont get it. still i have to pass. getting 50 marks for maths... it isnt a miracle. i just dont noe. i can do it but i get it wrong. i noe the formulae. i can teach friends. they think im good in maths. but i suck... in the end those whom i have taught has done better than me. they saw my marks. they said i lack of practice. i practice everydae. its just 10 more daes to the real exams. prelims are of course harder. i have to do my cpa too. y didnt we have science. god... i dont get it... i just dont want to let those people down. i have to try harder. i have too... it means life and death to me. they have high expectations. i noe how tt feels when u dont get wat other tinks u're suppose. they get shocked. i have to pass. its n'levels. i gotta pass... if i dont... i wanna go slit deeper. no 1 can stop. if i fail. i..

[[ failed. ]]
[[ have to pass ]]
[[ have to try harder. ]]

talk to da MAN

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