a bullet through the heart </3

Sunday, July 31, 2005

went to the park. thot everything ended. but she had to explain to me. hahaks... now i understand.
i hate it when i see somthing nice and i didnt get to catch it on camera. arghh. so many beautiful pics. haiss.....

[[ lalalala ]]

Saturday, July 30, 2005

todae went to f3... at 10! ahhaks... so got there. i felt like i was the only 1 wit long pants. okok stop it. then saw my dudes who forced me into tis!. call here call there. then i thot they were playing soccer at the court so went there. saw khaliz wit a floorball stick. i was shocked. well... all ex-pasir ris pri. skool kid are taught to play floorball. and those who brought their sticks were from pasir ris pri!... i was once called pasir ris knights. hahaks... afiqah shud noe tis!!!.... so met some of em. and its been years since i played floorball. its been like 4 years? hahaks long time rite? so i made a team wit an ex-pasir ris, sofiyan. he looks like c.ronaldo... so i teamed up wit him and 2 other sec 2 kids. friends of ours. set up a team. we were the highest scoring team!! tts wat the coach said. dennis. hahks... he was very encouraging. very. so we beat every team till we went into the finals. it was khaliz, firdaus gemok, faris(pasir ris knight) and alwert(pasir ris knights)... they were like the best. we vs them. we lost 1 - 0... i was like rushing to score. 10 secs were down. i almost scored. sobs~.
coach dennis approach some of us. and passed us his number and said u are welcome to come and train wit us. i was happy. then faris had a chance to play at ite semei. he was given a chance to show how good he is. i m sure he his. i salute him. he used to look up at me when i was in pasir ris pri. now i look up to him ahhaks.

then we walked around. jamed wit the guitars. and i went home. chilled.

then i went to siglap to watch a match. fedex vs EPFC. there were fights. but it was common. and the common pple were in it. i relie respect my coach. even if he was slide he still puts on a smile. haks. and he calls me usher. dont noe y... hahaks... we won 5-3 hahks... nth much happen so now im here hahaks...

[[ im sorry i was such a jerk ]]
[[ wats done is done ]]
[[ blah blah blah to u! ]]

Friday, July 29, 2005

wow. todae. went to skool early. everything was ok. thnk u for mp3!. so listen to it without it life is bored. so todae had MT, eng, maths, PM and HR. fun starts at pm. watched movie. then went to class. felica asked me to go to the dj class. i was surprised. i mean it was my dream to be a dj. looking at the dance floor of the club and seeing people move to my music. ahaks. but hey, it can be a hobby. i like it so y not?...

after skool supposed to meet illys! i forgot cos i was in a rush!!! i m soooooo sorry! i relie am sorry! u didnt wait long did ya? soo sorry!

then went home. sent the snare backs... sobs.. then khaliz asked me whether im going tmr. i was forced to go by him. hahaks. felica asked me too. so y not. hope tmr is gonna be a good day. and a fun 1 too. f3 rite? i'll call u all... ahahks.

haqem just called and asked to play for his floorball team but he'll call when there is training. kewl

haqem is my dude from the pre skool. we were in floorball team. and now he opened his own club. mayb soon can go training. fun rite? hahaks

tts all thnks for reading..

[[ sorry ]]
[[ f3 ]]
[[ snare.. ]]
[[ floorball? floorball? ]]

Thursday, July 28, 2005

todae was a shocking dae. i was late. tts not shocking. but wat was is tt sundram didnt approached me. yea! the teachers didnt talked to me! yea! so fun. usally the teachers give me a nagging. i hate tt. well i hate em all. then english i didnt do my compo wit the love i had for it. hahaks... i was hyperactive during e.o.a... i dont noe y. den the chinese boys sat wit the malay boys. glad there arent any rasicm animore... warren was super crazy. rahim was being a monkey, yati was jabbed. sam was being a guy. xiu yong was showing attitude towards teachers - rock on!... and the rest just sucked. then skool finished. yea. went to white sands. bought my things went back to skool. sat wit yati and the gang. talked bout N's... they had to go fer tourism course. then i went for tuttion. maths. wit namira. met my old tuition centres buddies. mahirah and ary. ahahks. caught up on things. missed those times where strange things happen.

then receive a msg. to fuck off. ough. hey i dont mind. just tt i dont wanna hurt ur feelings like u did to me. so i just kept it to myself.. sae wateva u want. u're just making me look down on ya....

wan' crib. we jammed! hahaks. his keyboard rocked. played very beautiful music. then went to chill. drinks and tv. then went home. boring life eh? called. thnks! hahaks. if u didnt i would be soo bored.

ouh yar. calling me emo makes me feels emo. so dont encourage it. hahaks. call it if u feel like it guys.

[[ me, emo? ]]
[[ last dae ]]
[[ keyboards ]]

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

the models of 4t1. hahaks. i was 1. todae photo taking. if i didnt look at the timetable i would have forgotten to bring my tie. whew. so went to skool. wit my fav. old jacket. went to class. pple wowed. hahaks. every time. so i put my things aside. got ready for english. then ms. low came in. finished her werk then it was P.E. thot was gonna be badminton or gym. it would be fine. then the photo taking pple was in the hall. i noticed the guy was having a E.O.S... The most advance 1. wow. it looks funny. but the megapixel. my god! it has exactly 16.7 or either the 8.7 megapixel but either 1 both are the best. i tink i m not getting an SLR soon. cos its only 8.0 and canon has made a digicam wit 7.1 which will be in a higher pixel soon. unless SLR has the higher pixel. blah. blah. blah. k get the idea? if not i get the 7.1..... [[ the photobug bit me ]]

PE we did a dance. called something. fun though.

then it was maths. caught day dreaming. which i wasnt. i was tink of something. if it happen. and my probs. i knew the fucking sum mr.sundram. i wanted to go out and explain. but hey. i let u teach. tts wat the moe is paying u for. so go do ur werk.

E.O.A ms.naj taught us. i felt diff. like i wasnt myself. until i sat there thinking. was tt me just now? so i just kept quiet. did my werk. wanted to blog. but the teacher kept patroling behind me.

den it was photo taking. went to the toilet wore my tie. saw pple geling waxing watering their hair. i wanted to laugh!. hhakas. its like as if they were auditioning for a singapore hottest male/female model! hahaks. then went down. few mins b4 i took my photo. i saw her. she was on her wae to somewhere. aniwaes. my ear wont keep waiting.

the formal part. my face was alwaes serious. the informal i was looking up. dont noe y. hahaks. weird saw a UFO and a bapok staring at me. scary. hahaks. aniwaes i ll wait fer 1 dae when every 1 will be present. i ll take a pic of the whole class. cant bear to part wit u all. esp. shine youchuan. wait wait wait. y not cant wait to part wit chye poh. tts all. yea. all of em are okies. so tts all. nth much happen.

[[ tts me! ]]
[[ blinding flash ]]
[[ crash ]]
[[ got a weird feeling ]]
[[ is she smiling at me? ]]

Monday, July 25, 2005

got a snare from my friend. its noisy. i m gonna give it back. b4 i do. i m gonna rock tis block. wit the paradiddles, rudiments and rolls. the 1 tats gonna make them mad is the roll. muahahaha. evil arent i? so gonna continue playing it.

todae. P.E ran 2.4. guess wat. i didnt eat anithing from yesterdae till todae. didnt plan to eat at recess. i was tired thot was going to the gym todae. cant eat. got probs hanging on my head. fam shit. skool shit. so i just ran the last time i got was 14.10 slow... i was playing. so todae i thot i just ran. if i failed, i failed. i just kept my pace. the long legs of mine touching the ground. pushing me forward. i feel the breeze. soon after the 3rd round. i felt tired. i didnt stop running. i did walk. i thot i was running funny. helmi kept motivating me. so was jia qing. thnks guys. i had no fucking mood to run. sorry for the vulgars. i cant stop it. i m a peaceful guy. haha. the last round i sprinted the whole lap. i got the time of 13.00 i thot tat was ok. so i walked to the water cooler and spent at least 5 min? i was dizzy. i cant walk. ouh yar. i took mr. lee watch to time myself. so i thot he was at the gym. i carried my self up the stairs. and thur the hall. b4 i went out. i enjoyed the air-con. i was dizzy. i slept for awhile. like few mins. then i went to the gym. he wasnt there. i went round the whole school. until i found him gave him his watch and sat. talked to the girls. asked them bout wat happen during msging yesterdae. they said something bout somethings. went to class and suddenly my ankle and knee were hurting badly. it was hurting. just like tt red thing which pumps. i can stand up. i had to use the table to get up. i didnt want to greet but wat the hell. then blah blah blah. cpa. i wasnt myself. i talked alot. my mouth had a life of its own. hope tt doesnt happen again.

went to my friends house to get the snare. on the wae was zul. next to him was her. y was he calling me? wat was his motive? can ani1 tell me? how bout u? spill out all the things u wanna sae. i m willing to just hear. on account of some1...

[[ the ear is open ]]
[[ my snare for the dae ]]
[[ ouch. ]]

Sunday, July 24, 2005

wats the use of living? can ani1 tell me? wats the use? i find it kinda hard living.... pple tell me tt tmr the sun will shine.. i tell them i got enuff of the shine. my skin.. i dont feel like living animore. i dont get the point of it. shud i leave it? no. just remembered my reasons for staying alive all tis while. arghh.. wats happening to me? i cant control myself. i nvr felt like tis.. i need something to clam me down. i dont noe wats its gonna be. mayB music. mayb hurting myself. just a big headache. confusion.

was tt fer me? sae wateva u gotta sae.

[[ life ]]
[[ me ]]
[[ death ]]
[[ not gonna be the same ]]

she's not breathing back. i cant let tis bother me. just 1 dae. i wanna let all the tears out. 1 dae. let out the sorrowness go out. 1 dae. let the pain out. 1 dae. the emptyness, the joyness and the happiness has been taken out. todae. and todae i have to start all over again. todae. will continue

why did i have to get into ur lifes.... y.. the question still remains.. i gave u so many chance.. i was great at first.. it was. then the things u do.. just made me or ani1 else feel like they were just dust. u did made them feel like it. the things u do. make pple think otherwise. i gave u chances. not to do that again. but u still did. i gave alot of chances. alot. whenever i want to walk away only then will u realise. y? if i wont walk. will u ever realise the love i used to have for u? y? then when things are okay. u go back to the things u used to do. once when i didnt like it. u asked me to leave. u said never mind if thats what u tink then tats the answers. there's ton of pages of mistakes u did to me.

Msgs. sent to me. saying sorie. saying i did it. my fault. y cant they give back the love i give to them. y? i dont noe. u just added pain. hurt. i was killed. not hatered.

just let get on with my life. i m not gonna bother wit u and ur life.

[[ ]]

Saturday, July 23, 2005

feeling a little nono alot more strangely weird... very weird after reading msgs.... all tis im feeling are feelings.. hear a song.. i'll try to upload the song.. u guys wanna hear song while u reading my blog? i dont noe... i dont feel the way i ever felt i dont feel rite.... i noe im not gonna smile.. only u can take my pain away.. but u seem to be diff. u got ur own probs. so.. i dont noe.... its up to u now... straight to my face..just do it.... if u tink u just wanna be frends lets be frens....
u take my pain away...

its a lie.. y are u doing tis to me? wat do u relie want? i thot we were JUST friends.. i can take tt... but wat do u want from me? wat izzit? do u want the truth? i can give it to u....

i m not feeling myself todae.. when i dont feel myself i do something crazy.. i dont noe wats its gonna be.. nvm.. dont care bout me... i cant let tis bother me.. i gotta do something... cos it takes my pain away...

[[ taking my pain away ]]
[[ not feeling myself ]]
[[ i tried i cant ]]
[[ if not for the song i would breakdown cos i m on the verge on it ]]
[[ ani1 can see my flaw it isnt hard ]]
[[ felix isnt felix animore... ]]

Friday, July 22, 2005

just got back from PRCS went there fer ML oral.. and i sucked... the reading was fine the converstaion sucked.. kk enuff bout tt... tmr got classes.. hope its gonna be fun.... on the wae meet my old primary skool mates who were skooling there.. we caught up on things.. luff. smiles. but deep inside... i still feel diff. like somethings missing... i noe i cant smile... nvm... todae skool was fun.. i rarely sae tis.. but it was fun strange huh?

my fav toilet was locked! wanted to slack there wit the guys... then chill there... wait until lesson over... but we went to 3rd storey toilet... was boring... boring boring... PM watched wat movie.. forgotten... abt an astroid( did i spelled tt rite?) hitting earth.. then mr.david forgotten to bring the first disc up... so i went there like a comedian( i dont noe how to spell! its offical! my brain is dead!) talked bout kah chai! sorry dude.. just joking.. and sang a song... hahaks i tink the class liked it abit.. my voice is not meant for singing nvr was... hahaks... made some jokes then went back to my seat.. talked to you chuan.. bout his life.. and it was kinda fun... bonding wit the class.. shud have done tis fucking loong ago...

saturdae is nearing.. fridae is here.. i wanna go out! leave my stress and clear my mind! esplanade is gonna do it fer me.. or mayB a movie... or somthing else.. ouh yar! stomp is coming... i wanna go.. ani1 wanna follow? call me! its fun... just ask me bout it... okies.. nt feeling too well... gonna meet marc later to buy his guitar... anthing call me...

[[ abit sicks ]]
[[ i looked at u.. u looked at me.. i turned away i didnt meant to ]]
[[ stomp ]]

Thursday, July 21, 2005

todae... gots pple wearing baju kurong, punjabs and chongSam is tt how its spelled? i dont noe... wanted to wear a punjab. got it from a fren... but last min. didnt... and my whole class didnt wear too... if not i'll feel outkast... if not me and my friends wear.. if not for the n's ML oral... they had theirs todae... mine is tmr.. i noe i m gonna fail... wat to do... God , U and indie... u all can help me overcome tis... god is the 1 i look up to... U, i cant live without u... and indie music... make me feel good... no more techno... its for turntables or moving to the beat... aniwaes.. just to tell u guys... i didnt won.. tts all... will achive in something else... pls dont ask abt wat it is... mayB secondary life isnt my time.. but i m having a world of a time wit u.... just walking wit u.. talking wit u.. makes me feel good... thnks... fer being there... aniwaes now its 28 dae to n-level.. gotta studie later... at nite... if not.. i m gonna kill my self... and if i fail my maths.. im not gonna see u guys animore... so i hope i pass my maths... i dont mind dying.. but still i gotta try my maths... sundram wasnt at skool! yea!... tmr.. ML oral... gonna shiver.... gonna be scared... gonna need ur help... waiting for wan to come backs... the keyboardist... hope the good times keep on rolling... i wanna go out! cant stand the house.. the pple living in it... gonna get my life... i cant wait after n-levels finish... gonna werk wit few of my classmates... sorie if i jump my stories or change subjects... u pple noe me wat... if u dont... then get to noe me better... ms Naj taught us E.O.A todae.. was okies... fun ... not serious.. but the werk she gave! such tricky questions... hope tmr is not gonna be a hard dae for me... gottta go fer fridae prayers den oral den ENJOY MY FRIDAE!!!! then saturdae studie again.. go look fer guitars and drumset... then soccer training... then at nite... go for music lessons... then go home then sleep then then then.. kk enuff crap... killers, franz ferdinand, the whos, rolling faces, the bravery and the pinholes... if u dont like them.. u dont have the indie soul!!!... pple u dont mean a thing to me... u're nth.. i m not afraid of u asshole! come and get me if u dare ... i never meant for tis.. but u wanted tis.. so try to mess wit me when u see me.... and u.. do i hate u now? do i? do i? i dont... so if u dont want me to talk to u.. or go find some1 else to talk to.. tell me... so i wont bother u... i had enuff of ur stuff.. u doing things to me... pple ask me to leave... they say things bout u... i just ... nvm... just friends...

[[ wat a dae.. ]]
[[ feeling weird ]]
[[ let go ]]
[[ feeling sad feeling so low feeling so empty ]]

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

to the time... i was playing drums till i stopped... bcos of studies.. and now we are back to square 1... now wat will i do? of course studie... after n-levels i'll have all the time i want... me and wan we gotta studie... gotta make time of things... so u guys go ahead and jam tis fridae... gonna studie after tis... u all jaming wit ahmad rite? hope he is the better drummer... pearl... how nice it sounds... its gonna be mine... soon.. rite now the pad is all i need... can practice at skool cos we got ample time there... teacher alwaes arriving late... we finishing early.... ahh talking bout percussion... fabian showed us a show on stomp... it was kewl... they used normal household items... wonder y fabian is soo good to me.. too good to be true... and sundram.. nvr thot i would sae tis... thanku but i still hate u.... i have lots of pple to thank.... shine, wan, felica, yati, shikin, hasima, lina, warren, you chuan, mr. lee, micheal jackson, lionel lewis tts all... did my mock exam.. failed miserably.... as expected... aghh.... i need to study after tis.. 28 more daes!!! and i gotta buck up... gotta studie... all the time... sick... tts all... must understand... hahaks...

u thot me how to understand, u showed me how to tlive life happily and if not... i would be a saddist.. pple would call me emo... u made me learn how to laugh again... the only thing i ever had was you.. even when times we hard fer u... u were facing pressure.. u were there fer me... thinking back... u relie helped me.. i m glad i helped u... u did the same.. i was touched... all the times.. when i was down... and i hope we'll make it thur together... u thot me how to understand... you taught me that not everyone knows the truth..... thank u... i 'll care fer u.. we'll go thur thick and thin... together... i'll be there fer u

[[ life ]]

[[ thank you ]]

[[ felix - mixed feelings bout life ]]

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

hahaks... playing wit life and death going on to the internet just now at skool.... kk... so after E.O.A we went to the hall for a racial harmony show... wished could be in ava so no need to sit at the hall... can chill out at the control room... quited cos i have to come every morning at 6.15 just to double check equipment and setting shit... enuff bout tat... so after all tt.. the 3 actors on the stage we asking pple to come out and juggle a capteh... 3 of my buddies went up sec 3, 4, 5.. the sec 1 kid was good... but the sec 2 guy... he sucked!!! not even 1! y did he have to embrass himself... i dont pity him... my frend all laughed... they wanted to bet wit me that he could do more than 10!... i won of course.. but i m a good guy, i gave back their $$..... suppose to go remedial wit my frend... sundrams individual remedial... will go on other days... mayB on wednesdae... shud have went todae.. but i was tooo tired... HELLO! tis is my n-level we are talking bout.. my future lies wit me... gotta studie... todae... after tis.. circle and graph... must do it todae... had my nap.. so wont be able to sleep again... ahhhhh.... gonna be late again tmr... fuck u sundram!... i hate him... well used to like how he taught us... but now tt jackass teaches like a new teacher... dont noe wat happen... aniwaes fuck u all - meant to "those".....

[[ n-levels - 30 days... ]]
[[ chapter 1 - real numbers ]]
[[ scared and sad.. and Happy for u ]]

rite now at school... using the com... just finished n-level course werk... ermm my school sucks.. and life is getting suckier too... pple! i hope u die soon... so wat eva ah... soon gonna be assembly time.. and gotta pass up the n-level coursewerk... and msg .. phew teacher nearly caught me... jam session... when ar? all of u practice more la.. so next time no need to hassle... i gonna get a drumset soon.. so u all get ur guitars and bass guitars ready.. if wanna jam under the block also can but i bring snare drum or practice pad onlie.. chill onli i use the com.. if teacher catch confirm 0 so... anithing just msg me... u too and u and u and of course u... call me too.. u only.. kk the pinholes are good fun people.. update at home later...

[[ tired ]]
[[ doing werk ]]
[[ wanna sleep la ]]

Sunday, July 17, 2005

haiss... gonna miss baybeats... well it has its good and bads... so relie had lots of fun.. just came back from it... was fun... gonna miss it... enuf... so hope can enjoy it next year.... indie... wan thnks for staying dude! tmr jam tuesdae too..... tmr skool... hate it... wat to do 7 points! and plz cheer up... fer me....

[[ hey ho lets go ]]
[[ bye bye baybeats ]]

Saturday, July 16, 2005

yesterdae went to baybeats... was sooo fun... wan's cousin band asked us to come down and hear them play.. alot of pple came... the are called The Pinholes... nice name... and they play realie well... going todae again and on sundae... gots singapore band and mlysia bandtoo... they got so many bands and places to hear them.. its was soo fun.. going off soon... axel at aus? i didnt noe.. dont wanna care.... indie rock and roll... beautiful... aniwaes.. i won a peom which i didnt knew i had won... okies.. so going off.. sorie bout yesterdae... relie... still feeling guilty bout it... its good..

[[ indie ]]
[[ guilty ]]

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

got to skool earlie.. just came back from it... todae something strange happen to me... 4t1... they were talking bout me when i was sick... for 2 daes.. mr.sundram was talking bout me too.. so yati approach me.. asked... y r u so quiet in klass? wat happen? u been like tis for the past few weeks... and we all are worried... so i thot wow.. okies.. and i told her y.. she said okies... D came said... u noe.. u're emo... i meant u dont dress up like 1 but ur feelings are down... u said yea... i dont talk or luff much... mayb laughing sickly but not relie... could be fake could be real... tt was the onlie time i had my real luff... i mean how can i luff... if u're in my shoes u wont too.... u cant.. even if u tired.. unless u are wit some1 u relie wanna be wit... -sigh-... aniwaes... every1 asked... i just cleared 1 prob... wit my own classmate.. and still have other problems... lots of em... relie stress up.. rite now i can feel my blood presure up... so tt was during P.E when they asked... me.. emo? hmm.. mayB... aniwaes they all headed to the hall cos it was DRIZZLING outside... it wasnt like a thunder storm out side... so we when up to the hall and play badminton.. hak! it was shit.. so i hang out at the piano place... i cant play but i tried... then shinning came to the class rescue.. if u noe wat i mean... she played cannonindie... then i decided to add in some percussion beats... so i went tish tish tk tk tk tk dom... and gave shine her piano solo... she played relie well cos i asked her to play something sad... it relie suit my feelings... then said wow faliq it was relie nice.. i was shocked! me ? doing the drum thing nice?.. so i just said ok.. shine wanna jam piano and drums together... Shine the dae comes soon... i m still waiting for my drums.. gonna buy 1 soon... and the keyboard wan can sponser.. gonna buy the practice pad first... dont need a tunning key yet... and i need new sticks... i thot i wanted to buy the snare drums first... but josh asked me to buy practice pad... better.. cant wait to leave tis skool... cant leave my frewns.... emo.. still cant believe it... so guys thnks for ur concern... then it was over... then recess then E.O.A... yati still talked to me... eoa we did course work.. n-level... it was so easy thnk god... then it was assembly and all... i remebered sundram asking me to find him.. i couldnt so i didnt do my mock exams todae... mayB thursdae... or wednesdae... dont noe... i wanna be free on fridae.. got lots of things... jamming... then go out.. then gig.. then party... gonna be fun... hope its gonna be a wild dae... baybeats... indie! ani1 wanna follow? just ask... storm's coming to s'pore... my fren told me to go.. u noe hu u are... thnks aite.. see u there.. if i m going... n-levels in 30- daes... so scared... josh just called.. asked me to practice wit him... asked me to stop playing wit the com and get my sticks and go play on anithing... he just showed me his funk and rock beat... now relie missing the drums... 4.26... still there... aniwaes... i m leaving so tts all...

[[ sick of life ]]
[[ still hard for me ]]

Monday, July 11, 2005

hey... its not like i didnt wanna talk to u abt it... but when u left i did wanted to talk abt it to u.. but u left.. its too late.. mayB tmr.. i dont feel like writing it here.... see u..

[[ life tossing and turning ]]
[[ stop tis pain tonite ]]

Todae got up freshen up... then went to skool ran up to pass somethings.... then during MT i felt weird... it was something i thot... something tt is gonna happen... i dont noe... so i felt sad... i didnt want tis thing to happen to ani 1 of us... i dont want things to happen.... i wanna live life as it is.. but todae i cant just seem to study... the thot was stuck in my mind... i was supposed to do mock exams... but sundram saw me uneasy and asked me to do it tmr... i dont mind.. cos tmr i noe i m okay... aniwaes i dont wanna control ur life.. advice i would.. but control i wont... i felt like as if i was gonna lose u... todae... i dont own ur life... aniwaes.... life for me is diff. for todae... sori... i didnt wanna lose u till i cried... i dont noe y... mayb u meant soooo much to me... .... so dont leave.... and i want things to be better... tts all.... to go on.... tmr gonna study hard... changed my blog... to suit my feelings... gonna change lots of times...

[[ dont wanna lose u ]]
[[ lost my mind... ]]

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Wow! jams again... and tis time no fooling around... got serious... well tis time its like a practice session... marc and me... and he was jeng jeng jenging his guitar... and i was playing on the drums.. relie good fun... played the reason... old song but gotta give the new bies the chance... hahaks... then tried jazz.. and rock beat... missed or added something xtra... hakks... tmr jamming again tis time wit wan... marc gg for church stuff... not sure wat time but will jam... i tink following my time.. so tt means wateva time i want rite? okies...aniwaes marc plz do come! u can sing and we found tt out todae... shine ur ablity alrite?!... next song indie rocking rolling.... and same direction... but dont play songs tt have meaning to me.. i m afraid i ll cry... hahaks.... ever seen me cry? cos i wont!... aniwaes crapping here... so plz marc come! aniwaes if u dont its not gonna be alrite... hahaks.... wan and me rock the jam room.... soul music.... my thoart hurts sing power rangers theme song... GO! GO! POWER RANGERS! JENG JENG JENG JENG JENG..... u pple noe how it goes... hahaks and sang blink 182's i miss u back up... marc: dont waste ur time on me u're already the voice inside my head... Me: i miss u missed u... hahaks then tats when my voice goes ramly sarip... relie bad hurting like it used to... at least i felt tis once and cant take it animore!! Lozenges i need u! thnk god drummers need not sing... well if they want to.... its sad!!! i lost my specs... boo hoo.... missing it.. gonna get a new 1... or not getting it... depends... hey u dont worry bout things... i ll be there beside u.. sick but still beside u.. side by side we try to live on each dae.... dont worry bout a single thing.... dont wish u fading away.. dont... aniwaes SAB thnks u!!!!!!!!!!!! u made me feel betters... and advice me when i was down i owe u alot.. i relie dont noe how to repay u... u asked bout parkour... sprained my ankle on the 2nd time free running... dont wanna talk bout it... i tink some1 cursed me... i just got the feeling... wat the fuck did i do to who ever u are.. tell me.. confront me... i dont mind... just as long as its the gentleman wae... the chilling wae... aniwaes i dont noe wats happening to us.. every1 in tis world i noe its changing... except for 1... thnks for staying beside me too..... and some of them change for the better or for the worse i m not gonna say names.. but i ll try to accept for wat u are.... well tts all...

[[ Backstage barst**** ]]
______________________
[[ being by ur side... ]]
______________________
[[ GO GO POWER RANGERS! ]]
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Saturday, July 09, 2005

yesterdae was fun.... jam here jam there.... marc was suppose to play the guitar but ended up playing the drums... and where did i end up? talking to the fone... hahaks the bass remained as the bass.... when i finished we jammed! marc was rocking on his guitar and the bass was a boring 1... wan didnt get to come... dont noe if me and marc are gonna jam todae... not sures..... waiting for wan reply... i tink he's enjoying himself at sentosa... reminds me.. long time didnt jet ski... miss it... its been a long time we didnt play : pool, golf, soccer, bowling and doing something crazy rite? hey marco dont worry.. the poly dudes are gonna have a holidae i tink its coming soon.. so our chords guitarist and original bassist(did i spell tt rite?) will come soon... so no more jamming wit wanye... hahaks... aniwaes next song will be: honest mistake, Everthing will be alrite, change ur mind and andy ur a star... u guys okies wit tis? if not call! understands?

[[ jammin' ]]
[[ still sick ]]

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Yea marc thnks for calling! very good news to be heard from u dude!.... so later if can we meeting wit wan ar... we talking bout tis and all... WAN CALL ME.... aniwaes looking forwarding to jamming... so i tink later can talk bout it... aniwaes all must call and meet.. tts all... still sick... ouh yar first song... helena? okies? hahaks... i tink i go meet wear mask ar... mayB suit... like very bad virus sia... so u're all gonna see the sick me.... wont be diff. but still sick.. aniwaes i am crapping just call aite.... ouhyar wan the bravery concert coming to singapore wanna check it out? gonna check the price so bye!

[[ call call call ]]
[[ Honest mistake ]]

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

So sick... got sore thoart... when to the docs... got 3 daes MC... whee!!!! but i tink i am coming to skool on fridae.... and i breathing relie hard... not a good sign.... haiss so sick... problems wit me... it sucks... well look on the bright side... aniwaes here's a msg to u.. if ur lazy to care dont... relie... i mean wats the point rite?....

[[ sick ]]
[[ y u talking like tat ]]
[[ not for u relie... ]]

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Just woke up... so sick... when is the sickness gonna go... i am infected wit viruses.... i have flu, sore thoart, headache, coughing out loud and feeling feverish.... feeling sick.... todae i was late... i saw u... i wanted to ask u but i didnt noe how... i didnt noe how to approach u..... i m sorie.... aniwaes... i got up to class and no 1 was there so i when to change for P.E. then got back and completed some stuffs... Newspapers..... then i slept... how good it felt... then P.E. i tink tat made me sick... after running we play soccer i was gonna vomit and then faint... but didnt... i wanted to go home! so we continued playing soccer... then when we finished... i saw a horrible sight... U KEEP WISHING HER TO COME BACK!!![[ BECAREFUL OF WAT U WISH FOR!!! ]] then i saw Mdm. Samsiah.. she saw me.. i quickly run cos it isnt gonna be the first time she is gonna catch me wit coloured socks... then had maths... it was okay... didnt talk never will... mr.sundriah gave us youth dae presents... a pencil and some erasers... i didnt want ani.. so wateva u ass! then recess eat la then wat? didnt change my P.E. clothes and didnt wear socks... then finished we went to change during recess assembly... and went to do E.O.A course work.. its an n-level papper... just finished it... it was a happy feeling... cos i noe tat i did well.. well actualli i hope... aniwaes when tat was over i played wit some skool software... real nice.. skool gots lots of software... now i dont tink i can enjoy them.... nvm.... miss u softwares... then it was assembly... i didnt bring my tie!! no 1 told me to! so got down and borrowed from some of the soccer boys... wat i dont understand is tat 1 of the boys wouldnt lend my fren a tie.. his fren.. but instead an asshole he doesnt noe.. i noe ... y would frens do tis... i dont get it.... the world is changing... aniwaes the youth dae concert was ok..... ouh yar.. i did wanted to join the poem competition.. but i passed the paper to shining... so i hope u got them to ms.low... thnks... if u didnt its okay... here is just 1 of the poem:

The Razor

Love me,
my razor blade.....

Peel my skin,
make me scream.....

Sink so deep,
make me weep......

Cut my flesh,
make me bleed......

Take my life,
set me free.......

i didnt noe wat ms. low would have entered cos i sent bout 6... i tink she didnt get to see it.. arhhgg nvm...

hey... i am sorie... for wateva i have done.... well somebody told u somthing else... plz forgive me.. i dont noe wat i have done wrong.. plz tell me... all i wanna do is..... haiss.... plz? forgive me?

[[ i am in the wrong ]]
[[ sorie a million time ]]

Sunday, July 03, 2005

kingdom of heaven was great... didnt get to catch it cos WE watch cursed instead.. so i got a chance to buy kindom of heaven... just finished watching it... and it was great... the whole movie is... i still have to buy batman.. cos gonna catch wars of the world and fantastic 4 .... soon... so i want u to follow... u noe hu u are.... so aniwaes... will u call me and we have a talk...?? i am looking forward to it... and i didnt meant to hurt u tat bad... so plz... call

[[ feeling sad ]]
[[ call me ]]

Saturday, July 02, 2005

hey if u guys are not going nvm ar... i dont mind... i said it out of anger and some problems surrounding me... i hate it ... its not like i wanna fuck off u guys... so i am saying sorry rite now.. its a misunderstanding... so i am sorry.. chill aite... dont be mad wit each other bcos of me.. chill aite... kewl ar?

[[ sorry MAFF ]]
[[ Chill ]]

Fuck da u all... sae wanna go then last mins. nvr go fucking shit i dress up already.. nvm ar i go out alone... its not like as if i am gonna die.... fuck it...

Yesterdae we won.... kewl... i was happy... and todae gots training but going to Queenswae then go to beach road i tink.... just window shopping there... going queenswae to get gloves.... and then mayB get some stuffs... i am going to be miss ya.... so plz dont be like tis okies? plz.....

[[ my little life ]]
[[ ]]

Friday, July 01, 2005

sadness.... pple are feeling angry becos of me... poems are written.... depression, misunderstanding, sadness and confusion.... i am feeling those... so is she.... i feel bad too.... but get the facts rite.... its hard... but its better to be talking bout it... everything will be alrite soon i hope... i must mend things... the way they were.... just me alone taking this big task... depression sets in... u arent talking to me.. u lied saying u were ok.. anger.... sarcastic was in.... i felt it... i dont noe... confusion... all tis is a mixed recipes of bad feelings.... and i wanna throw them away 1 by 1... i dont wanna hurt pples feelings... i never knew... i should have know... but.... i am gonna put myself together.... and try make things rite... things arent going as they are suppose too... i dont get it... its me.... i feel guilty... the last feeling.... i dont want ani of these feelings to last... its cause me pain.... i dont need pain... i get pain from other things... so i dont need tis... so lets talk tis out.. i dont want u crying... plz dont cry.... i dont noe whether u're crying... but dont.... i dont even tink u wanna cry over me... i mean who am i rite?.... but i relie do wanna talk bout tis and clear our doubts.... every 1 of it.... plz? would you do tat? i relie hope so... i relie hope tat we can talk about things.... plz....

[[ talk ]]
[[ feelings are hurt ]]
[[ trying to mends things...]]

Dont be angry.. plz... when u cooled down call me... tell me the reason... wat did i do wrong...

yea! holidaes are here... but boo hoo must do 16Qs i tink.... arghhh bored ar.... nvm later come backs home can do it... tmr... all are gonna be busy.... doing tis and tat... i am gonna sleep!!!! REST..... haiss... ur mad becos of something... i am not sures... its me... cant u tell me the reason? are u even angry? i dont noe of wat... are u ? suddenly ur sarcastic and all... i dont understand... y? rilie dont get it...

[[ tell me when ur ready ]]
[[ haiss ]]