a bullet through the heart </3

Sunday, October 30, 2005

picking up the things.
things are forever shits. they making me stressed up. fucked up actually. i was tis stressed up not even during my n's... there was stress and all but not tis much. its relie fucked up. i relie wish i was away. somewhere. where i can just forget all my problems and just be smiling... i noe there isnt ani fucked up place. if there is it wont last long. nvr... life and live.

waking up.
waking up wit a bitter taste and pain feeling thoart hurts. and i think by tmr my voice will be coarse. is that the werd? i dont noe. i tink i have sore thoart. cant be the cgg. so i tink its flu. then i sound like a freak. or the lead singer from iron maiden. funny sounding i guess.

ouh shits!
i thot i wanted to change my blog skin cos its been long enuff. went blog surfing and i saw some1 using it. it was freaking hard to find! and all this time blog surfing i havent seen ani 1 using it till i decided to surf again! fuck it! well i'll just stick to this....

cycling.
ever since i got that bike. been cycling the whole time. here to there. cant take the part when we went to pasir ris park....

birthdae song.
only 2 more daes to my birthdae
Only two more days,
until your birthday
Last few days was mine
You'll be turning 16.

wan sang that song. i sang along too. ate cheng teng at 12.40 at the park talking.

the question u asked.
after my n's and all these shit. i went to my quiet place. then i began thinking abt wat u asked. the question. at first i let my brain think. then my heart. only the heart gave the answer. and i wished i had thot wit the heart and not the brain. seeing red again.

[[ the answer i got. ]]
[[ hopes goes down. ]]
[[ 2 ]]

Friday, October 28, 2005

didnt sleep.
i went offline at abt i dont noe. forgot the time. i dont even noe wat dae it is till wan told me. watched tv till the wee hours. morning programs are great...very good prog in the morning. i watched the sun rise then set the rise again. couldnt relie sleep at all. not bcos i just watched a ghost movie alone but just cant sleep. dont feel like sleeping.

well thnks to sabby and her new hair. shitsheads i didnt get the job. well. gotta look for another. mayB a cafe. or something. i'll figure out.bloggin at wan house again. going to soccer training... life without a job relie sucks.... fcuk.

wan's freaked up abt metallica and shits he's playing some of the songs. new shirt new jacket new watch.... nice.

4 more daes. still having doubts.

well mizzhaily sorry that i didnt reply ur msgs i thot u didnt send but u did. my fault.

vodka cranberry!

[[ fcuk things ]]
[[ life s ]]
[[ wan: hello everyone ]]

Thursday, October 27, 2005

pedaling.
just got back from nite cycling wit wan marc and mat.... fun ar. then wan decided to go to pasir ris park. i felt different... reminds me. no words to sae....

thunders and rains.
its raining. thunder flashes. just like the cam. when its raining. it somehow suits my mood. sad. happy. both. when im sad i feel like it washes my problems for awhile. but theres only 1 thing it cant wash away. and i relie wish i could be there feeling the rain beat down on me. while i enjoy the coolness and all. i dont mind being struck by lighting. an easy death.

i relie cant take it. just thinking abt it. i just wanna run away. wish i got something. i wish i was independent so pple cant push me around just bcos im the fucking youngest. so wat if i dont contribute to the fucking family by helping. wat have u all fucking done....

november.
its gonna be my birthdae soon. 5 more daes. i dont feel like celebrating it wit my family. i just wanna lie to em and say i got to go to work. then come home late. birthdaes for me isnt something happy. cos everytime its my birthdae i wish i was never born. but i was. the only thing that makes me happy is not the present but my age... well. i tink im gonna celebrate wit friends. friends who i trust.... many of my friends are having their birthdaes on november. im taking u guys out after ur birthdae. coming?

when we were talking. u said that u wanted to celebrate it wit me. deep down somehow i knew that it wouldnt happen. i just somehow knew. and i wish i didnt knew. just to spent a moment wit u seems so fine. we have not yet settle things and i dont noe if we shud. shud i? i dont want it to end up in question marks and fights. im twisted up. i dont noe wat to do. i wish i met u earlier. percious time spent wit u. u stay in my mind i cannot forget u i dont noe y. i'll wont be fine. u'll be fine....

[[ can ani1 help me wit my open flam and rudimetals? ]]
[[ it seems that im missing u ]]
[[ novembers. ]]

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

slept at 5 awaken by 10.
marc called me at 10 asking me to get up for shopping. we're suppose to go to queensway for shopping. actually follow wan. soon he'll be following us... i had to help him pick some shirt which will look nice on him. that kid doesnt like to save. and he's all crazy over shoes. had to stop him from buying unwanted things. its hard for me to go to queenswae..... well forget that.

we then headed to downtown east not for werk but play xbox. kinda fun. moto gp, soccer not bad. but stupid for me cos i already own an xbox. then crappy daddy called asking me to go home. ass fucks.

[[ broken ]]

[[ killing me. ]]

[[ shopping shoes ]]

the cold breeze
it rained. the fucked-up assholes gone.

met wan and marc under my block and we headed to downtown east for wans friends chalet. so b4 that we decided to play some xbox. i dont noe by im starting to suck. well fuck it. i lost. i tink its shits. then wan went to his chalet for a short while and we waited. then blah blah on the wae out wan pushed marc into the bush(its not the first time.) then he fell flat! i cant take it i laugh like i never did. till i dropped. fuck it was so funny cos when he fell flat he was like lying on the bushes then the branches broke! he fell deeper! hak! we all luffed. he luffed too. the fucking end.

[[ falls hard ]]
[[ cry for u ]]

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

got crazy?
daddy went crazy. well fuck him. its as if like i care or am afraid of him. well not gonna talk abt that.

yati seems to be wanting to read my blog so i'll update. and for others too.

wan's birthdae.
we saboed wan wit flour campange and egg. i had to get out of the fucking house so i went out soon. i forgot the campange bottle so i went up and got it wan was already waiting for me. he's getting supicious. seeing me carrying a campange and i said it we're going to celebrate ur bdae wit sparkling water. he said okay. then from behind we saboed him. i smashed the egg on his head. soon its gonna be my turn.

they screamed.

drumming at the park. practicing my strokes and playing wat i feel. expressing my feelings thru music.

[[ screams ]]
[[ hating daddy ]]
[[ dont get it do u? ]]

Friday, October 21, 2005

flying glasses and loud noises.
people shouting. cursing. its a war zone. it aint my house. its been on for 3 daes. it started up again. they're fighting. its just so depressing to talk abt this. even at tis time. i still havent got thru somethings tat happen. and now this. how can i absorb. and i walk out of the house. feeling alittle bit better wit friends. but when i come home its the same thing over and over again. i cant take it. y cant they just stop...

and im not gonna blog cos its still very depressing for me. i didnt have any 1 to talk to abt this. and so badly i wish i had u. but i dont. i thot i was strong. i am. but i need something to rely on. ever wonder if its all for me. the things. just like u. shocked. everything i ever knew. something i wish i didnt noe... but still i wished this never happen. i cant. so tis is the last. i hope i wont get awaken by breaking glass......

[[ i slit just to forget; i craved ur name on ]]

[[ i feel ur presence. but u're never near. ]]

[[ ur image is still here. i hear ur voice. ]]
[[ somethings i just wish that will never happen. ]]
[[ feelings will never change. mine and urs ]]

Thursday, October 20, 2005

i got peoms written before and during exams. gonna put them later.

i was 5 and he was six
we rode on the horse's made of sticks
she wore black and i wore white
she would always win the fight
bang bang she shot down
bang bang i hit the ground
bang bang that awful sound
my baby she shot me down.

[[ poetry never ends ]]

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

wan's
went to wan house got him to wake up and go for soccer training. i feel like his alarm clock. thot that we could go off together cos i was going to meet yati and warren. so went off at abt 3+ then on the wae they said they wanted to leave early so okies i follow wan. he trained and i got some pointers. went to Ngee ann poly... they have floorball. nice. then we chilled outside the skool after training. went home and ate at the ya kun. first timers it was delicis.

tmr.
going to bowl and cs. thot of ice skating. wan's getting outgoing! tts good. so we planned for alot of things to do b4 he goes back to skool. tts good.

new bikes.
they are showing new repsols. first bike. scrambler. last bike ZX-12. mayB i'll die in a crash b4 i get to ride the zx-12. who noes.

[[ died ]]

mornings.
went out straight to wan's house from my hell hole. chilled wit him watched mtv and stuffs. then abt 2 went to his office to collect his pay check abt 135. then we went straight to bedok cos we had to meet su,sab,remy,sot and tt guy(forgot his name) but we played pool first. on the wae we were talking. we all have laptops y not play among us using LAN(local area network) so thot tat was kinda fun but i tink marc wont even tink of installing another game inside his computer. so decided to play at a computer game center. usually play at safra. but alwaes wit marc. nvr the 3 of us played together. but if we do i'll play alone. 2 vs 1. then i slapped wan's head.

we played pool.
damn. i relie cant concentrate. the fone kept buzzing then i switched it off and the place. well i did win once. if not wan wanted to play cs again. kinda fun. i tink the bug bit him. relie bad. marc starting to want to join us. seems he's better than us. we'll see. enuff bout cs shit. then sot; we took taxi together went to simpang bedok.

met.
the taxi driver was racist but funny. still racist but wateva. so met the guys there. had our breakfast.
chilli clams. LALA
sweet and sour sea bass.
chilli veggies.
black pepper chicken.
and egg prawn and tofu.

nice. thnks u all.

first we dont noe where to go. esplanade? geylang? paya lebar? yasalam? bedok? we are already in bedok. then on the way to yasalam sot wanted to eat ice kachang. soon after which we played pool again. then we all go home.

met faizal. he just came back from town wit his friends. went home together.

went home. bath slept wit ears closed. fuck them all.

[[ pool and pool and pool ]]

[[ nice food ]]
[[ cs? ]]

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

woke up at 0730!

woke up met wan then we headed to tampines to pass his friend the form for the aussie trip. took the bus and went to SAFRA. birthdae boy wanted to lengthen his passport. but the place was close and will open at 2 pm. its still 10. so we played CS for 3 hours.

CS
wan had planned tis for weeks ago. so dont wanna see him dissapointed.
we had to wait till 11 cos they have to switch on the computers and all. we paid then sat at the back. i tink the guy thot we wanted to watch porn. cos we said somewhere there(pointing to the back) then he had a weird face. cos they also offer internet. but we played CS all the wae... first it was me against wan. i was freaking rusty. so was wan. then there were 3 other nerds freakins playing cs sitting beside us.. so i thot y not we vs them. well they were good. it took time to scrub my rust off. then soon after i was killing every 1. muahaha. for 3 hours i have killed them over and over again for a 100+ times. hehe. i tink i got bragging rights. aniwaes wan wanna go for a CS marathon. must ask marc to come along. he's rusty. we used to be CS khakis. mayB todae cos he has skool so after skool. me wan marc. wan used to not like CS. he said he gets giddy when he plays it and for 3 hours he played like a pro. so i tink he got over it. i played it once and i loved it. actually any game is good for me. i just have to like it. shudnt have stopped playing cs if i didnt can go to cyber games. for the fun of it....

after that we went home and i helped mommy prepare food. then headed to wan's house for the video cam. he wants to view a tape which he recorded. genting i tink. kinda nice... but his cam was faulty it had electric running all over. shits. it was ouch. then my cam cant eject. so wan decided to smash his cam. i did! smash it was so nice! fun! damn i wanna do it again. lets buy a digi cam and smash it.

went home had break fast.

went for terawih.
wit wan.. was nice. after that went home and sleep!

[[ terawih ]]
[[ camera smashing ]]
[[ counter-strike marathon ]]

Monday, October 17, 2005

wents out.
went to penin. to get wan a soccer boot! well actually not me its SU! meet her at city hall. then headed to penin. su... u seem shorter.... joking. so wan got a sliver grey F50+ boot! i looked at it and kinda liked it but i got loads of boots to be used. i dont care abt the boots. just the gloves for soccer that is... after that headed to geylang.

geylang.
reached. went to meet su's friends. i didnt got to noe their name. but they were nice. im usually quiet when i meet new pple. then they ate.... at first i wanted to eat soup kambing or mutton soup. then i wasnt hungry suddenly.... so didnt. but the stall was like a fear factor stall.

it had first for all: soup wit:
mutton flesh (?)
the cheeck
the legs
the tounge
the BRAIN!

i wanted to try the brain. cos i tried the tounge. super nice. u guys shud be brave and stomach the tounge. but i didnt buy the soup cos i was full. so i just watched wan and su eat it. then su went for walks at the bazaar there. while me and wan went to TKC. yea faiz u were rite there is a biol werking there. met hanisah. talked for a long time then i went away. bought ayam percik and kaabab. there was nasi ayam penyet. i didnt noe wat it is but gonna try it.

early morns.
going out wit marc and wan to safra for CS. its been ages since i played cs. dont noe if im still goods. but i'll try. gonna kill them. stab my back. but i noe wan likes to camp... watevas. early morns.... i want to wake up at 5am dread life. smoke then go for a walk till 730 and meet wan. so its gonna be 2 hrs 30 mins .... hope i dont run into any "thing"......

[[ nasi ayam penyet ]]
[[ early morns ]]
[[ brain soup ]]

Sunday, October 16, 2005

can u hear things breaking?

i tink its my peeps hearts. y do break-ups happen together... i mean first it was him. then her. then few daes later him. and so on.... now they're so sad. its raining now.

drums.
i tink if i get a drumset it would have meant war wit my parents. my neighbour next door is alwaes out and gives me a look. he's weird. and upstairs plays the piano late in the morning. like 2am. and the player plays a chilly tune. sometimes. so i guess "player" wont mind the sound of tktktktktk. its just that i need space.... tts all. sound aint a prob. so i guess it's the pple living in my house. there is such a thing called rubber padding on the drums so that u wont make a whole loud noise.

soccer.
i just feel like going back to EPFC. its been a long time.... ever since i watched wan played i want to play too. goalkeeping aint easy. but i'll try. we're gonna play at siglap first. soon after pasir ris interchange. cant wait for competition's. i tink im left wit next week then i'll have to werk. depends on wat shift i have...

camera.
its been ages since i took something nice other than my friends... gotta take something nice. marco's been bitten by the bug so is wan. its a bad bug. now wan's into video recording and marc into photography. we wanna make a movie! hak. dont tink so. well... we'll see.

BIRTHDAE BOY
going out wit birthdae boy later. find his present. but i tink im gonna get his things late. so sorry dude. dont have $$$ to buy that la. so im gonna give it to u late. we'll record it. hak... so see u guys later!
ITS UR BIRTHDAE. IM GONNA GIVE YOU 2 "SUPPLIES"....... BIRTHDAE BASH[[kapoww!]] AND....................

[[ drums soccer camera ]]
[[ crack. heartbrokens ]]
[[ birthdae boy. ]]

Saturday, October 15, 2005

conga
love it. but its so expensive. it was suppose to be cheaper than a drumset. thot of buying it. but i tink my sis is gonna get 1. so i can jam new beats on it... steph sent me a DCI percussion band song. nice. but its too slow for my ears. learing my strokes and beats. gotta verbalise em!

werk.
finally got it. warren cant come and yati went out wit mommy. both of u! mondae come. im feeling sick now. dont tink i can fast tmr. its fever. damn it. gonna chill out. aniwhere.

[[ werk ]]
[[ gotta love the conga ]]

i thot it was construction... but then it had a beat. dum tk tk tk tk. dum tktktktk. pooot.

i looked out. thinking it was a marching band.

there was a bass snare and sax player.

3 man band.

they were playing for a funeral.

pple die. some pple live to tell.

well. its not as if i care.

[[ tktktktktktk ]]

just woke up.
relie dont noe wat to do on a saturdae. its usually soccer. but due to puasa and friends being busy. i cant. shud have relie gone job hunting.... its relie important. still remember that time me and wan went to tampines we went into the yamaha shop. gosh i love the congo's... i played Screaming Infidelities the starting part. then played some beat... wan wanted to look for a electric guitar. they're serious abt music. yea. cos i tink they seen other bands perform at esplanade so kinda insprational i tink. marc's gonna get a guitar too. im not gonna get a drumset that early. not so soon. but i have to go jamming frequently i cant just play on air... and electric drumset or pad sucks! u cant play that many beats there... seriously dont favour it. wan just called and he said he's free on sundae! he wanna play CS just to VS wit us. its been ages since i played. well he's gonna get wat he wants.. and gonna kill him bad. after tat we're going to celebrate his birthdae.. i dont noe wat to buy fer him. he said he doesnt want anithing. 18.... wat shud i get an 18 year old kid..... i'll tink of something.

im going back to sleep.

[[ tired ]]

Friday, October 14, 2005

graduation.
todae grad. was okay... went to the audit. and spent time hearing to pple talk and some songs. then we all went to the classrooms to take our report book but fabian wasnt there so we made a freaking bad mess in the classroom. b4 i entered the class the gals made some noise they were messing the class up! of cos i joined then rahim joined it was fun. we tore books messed up tables. turned it upside down. i threw the books and chairs. it was choas. fun fun fun! then we went down asking every1 for our report book. sundrum came and asked us to go to the sec 1 klassroom. got our books and my comment was: Faliq is a animated student. he shows good work in his studies he could do well if he had just put alitte more effort in his work. he shows interest in music too.... tts was fabian wrote. i was super shocked. well wateva fabian. so we all planned to head out to esplanade. todae they are featuring bands and stuffs. but we went there way too early. so we chilled on the rooftop. talked luffed and stuffs. then i went back wit rahim. crossed the park and saw saiful playing on the swing. and khalis was talking to sham. kewl the guys are there. so we talked to them... blahs blahs. went back

home wan called and we went out to queenswae to meet marco and wanye. went shopping for awhile and soon after had our breakfast at a hawker centre. had mutton soup. was looking for cow tounge soup. its yummy. aniwaes after that went to city hall for esplanade! tis time we watched a band called audio burst or something. they were okay. then soon after chilled at the rooftop again. then went homes...

todae i had injuries. just not my dae.

1) went out wit wan on the wae to queenswae; my pants was down. i was leaning on the exit door of the train and i didnt noe that the celing was just above my head so i had to jump. i hit my head hard and every1 in the train was looking at me. hurt my head.

2) at esplanade i was sliding down the escalator and i wanted to stop i landed nicely but i slip, feel and nearly injuring my backbone. whew.

3) i forgot. but it was hurtful.

well tts all.

[[ esplande ]]

ps yati.... WE'RE SOO SORRY ABOUT THE FONE. I HOPE U FORGIVE US ALL.

bujang lapok(three singles dude)
went to wan house at abt 3. was suppose to be there at 11 but all of us were so tired from yesterdae we couldnt wake up..... so came there and watched bujang lapokl... damn it was freaking funny. they alwaes make me luffs till i cant take it animore. there isnt a time they didnt... after that i went home and had my fast while wan had his. planned to meet cos he had to pass a form to his friend; he's going to aussie to play freaking soccer! damn how jealous i am. well im going to send u to the airport!.... we planned to drink but tis is the month of ramadan must respect... played games while waiting for his friend. met him the other time i followed wan. had our dinner at LJS and walked from tampines to pasir ris. didnt feel tired cos we were singing and luffing all the wae back. a lot of freaking red ants attacked us... we attacked em back... then said goodbyes and meet up tmr for fridae prayers....

its skool.
skool graduation tmr. graduate. wow. nice. gonna walk in wit pride. HAK! KAPOWW! tts something. aniwaes meeting yati and warren at the MRT station. see guys im meeting u guys... i sacrificed my legs for that. nah just joking u guys sacrificed more. so more pics on friendster huh.... tmr... we gonna be james bonds and freakos!

ANIWAES BBQ CHANGED
12 NOVEMBER @ PIT NO. 30. U GUYS BETTER BE THERE. and since we cant celebrate warren's birthdae he'll celebrate it wit me. on 2nd november. u guys okay wit that? we doing it at han's river simei. so anithng just call....

talking abt birthda...
HAPPY BIRTHDAE! SABBY! U'RE 18 AND U CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS U WANTED TO DO! YEA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO U (X3)
HAPPY BITHDAE TO SABBYS.

WAN U'RE GONNA BE NEXT! THEN I SEND U TO AUSSIE!

[[ birthdaes. ]]
[[ graduating ]]

Thursday, October 13, 2005

tv.
became the patato couch. nth to do. watching the contender finale. didnt get to watch it that time. relie gotta find a job. just waiting.... well. lets enjoy first. i got 3 mths of shits. cant wait for class gathering. ouh shits tmr i have to go to skool. wit my dyed hair? spray black... or just put it flat. yea. i tink i wanna come early tommorow. which i never did ever once. never. so its something. gonna wake up at 5. have a stick b4 fasting and goes to skool at 5:30. chill wit sundram then go ahead wit wat craps they're having. i hope my hair is still short for skool... damn and when i take my n's i have to take it wit my skool-U... super lamo. fridae must wear tie and stuffs. todae go out cant come back late like i usually do.

got freaked out.
was listening to ghost stories on the radio and stuffs. i wasnt scared. only 1 story got me. mrs.pon. i relie hate it.but it did. after the stories i went online and listened to some music. then was blogging i had a typo. it was suppose to be "while" but i type "white" i got freaked out but i didnt care much abt that. then something flew relie fast outside my window. damn i was relie freaked out. then i was listening to heavy metal and some howling and stuffs. i got chill downs my bones. its not a very nice thing though. got up and looked outside. nth. but i tink tonite if i stay up late confirm i can see the "thing"... might forget abt it. but if i see her i'll run to my room and hide under my thick blanket. or... have a chat wit it. interview it or watevas. as long as they dont want my life. if they do its gonna get bad for them cos mine aint as good. stay as a mrs.pon.... its better then mine. arh wat craps. waiting for warren to call......

accident
a kid got run down.... tts ouch. he didnt die rite? just blood? no internal injuries or watsort. well kid good luck. tt happens when u dont look left or right. so its a lesson to all of us. well msging when crossing is good too. or changing songs on ur mp3 while crossing is good too. depends... ouh yar. get well soon. and hope u get good results kid.

[[ ghost? ]]
[[ couch potato ]]
[[ bang! ]]

wat a small werld.
wow yesterdae i thot of a food. chicken. and i asked my frend to call me when its time for breakfast. she did so i suddenly asked her wat was on the table. the first thing she said was chicken wit something. and it was exactly the thing i thot. wow. superly amazing.

was out wit marc. we made our way to the mrt station when warren called and he asked if i wanted to go out to city hall wit him shine and mandy. shine's friend. aniwaes i said i was going to beach road to get army stuffs for my bro. im like his freaking butler. freak him!. so went to the station and saw shine! and warren! nice. boarded the train together and talked had to go down at beach road. said goodbyes and mayB later i'll join them. so went to beach road.

and got my stuffs. i got 5 bucks to spare so i found tis nice cap with was worth 10 bucks so i thot i might give a try. but she said the least she cud give me was 6 bucks. oh wat hells i didnt get it.... so marc thot of calling faizal cos he said he'll be at queenswae wanna meet him and all. i turned around and saw him wit a friend talking. amazing. thot wanted to go geylang but we didnt want too. so said goodbye and headed to city hall to meet warren and gang. went to freaking marina square. and they were eating. its okay at least they didnt made me hungry unlike marc! he was sorry ar no hard feelings. hmmm. nice. freak! then we walked around and chilled at esplanade for awhile.

soon after wan called asking us to meet at pasir ris. went back wit warren and gang. we were havoc. so wiild said our goodbyes and wan was waiting for us infront of the control station and we made our way. meet pak(pac) then ate and our coach went up to us. he was wit some1 asked y we didnt go for training. well soon.... gotta cut down on smokes. talking abt that i was asking wan for the lighter and he stuck out his cig which i thot was a lighter then i felt was the hell is the lighter soft so i wanted to take my hands off and wan pulled back my fingers pressed the hot buring tobacco. i shouted aowww! and the whole quite neighbourhood was echoed by my loud shout. it was at 2 am on a mondae. kk back to the story. we went home. parkour for awhile and video some clips.

family talking.
went home eat some pepper crab, mutton chop and sardines. wonderfully some1 bought cheng teng. so i drank it all up... and suddenly my parents were talking abt puasa and me peeing... cos they read this artical abt tis kid peeing in his fridge. then they said when i was young. my mom would wake me up and i got up and peed in the fridge. even b4 puasa i peed on the belcony. i was the only heavy sleep walker. then i peed in the store. if i dont sleep walk i'll talk in my sleep. i said loads of vulgar to my bro. while i was sleeping. he was beside me. amazing. and i dont even noe a single thing!... i used to sleep walk and wanted to go out. there was once i stared at the window while and climbed. my father pulled me down and i smashed onto the ground hard hitting my head i woke up thinking i fell onto the ground from my bed. my father said i fell. and i was sleepwalking. todae only they told me the truth. i didnt noe i was suicidal. and i used to grit my teeth. brought me to the doc.
teeth griting was stress.
vulgar was my anger towards brother.
sleepwalk was too much enegry or dreaming that i was walking cos i had a good or bad time somewhere.
window - didnt wanna live. doc said something that hit me badly made me wanna die. he told my parents and they talked to me. and i blamed it all on my bro. even he has nothing to do abt it. but he was in the story partly. actually most of it. well that was a long time ago. but now they sae i still grit my teeth, walked and talked... weird. but tts me.

[[ small werld aint it. ]]
[[ sleep walking ]]

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

loud!
woke up by those. went to the kitchen to know that they are changing the cabinet. was still tired have to stop these late nite partys. gotta stop soon aniwaes. listening to loud music.

NUS VS Ngee Ann Poly
they fought. and damn the NUS campus was huge! u could get lost in there. i wonder how first timers survive. and it seems like a small town. so i watched wan played. there were many pple walking here and there. and i saw a group of floorball stud. walking to a place. and i tink there was a competition. cos there was another. i wanted to go but i didnt wanna get lost. so i just stayed. damn. it was floorball. and some of em were running. and all. too bad no high jump or something. i wonder how ITE is gonna be like. fridae going back to skool wit "dyed" hair. wan says if u're under the sun its visible. so i have to comb my hair flat. nice. thnks wan!..

[[ pierced ]]
[[ stop those loud bangings ]]
[[ stop those partying. ]]

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

dyed my hair.
blogging at wan's dyed his hair and ended up dying my hair too... was super fun. but it hurt though. was ouch. gonna watch wan perdersen play soon. at NUS..

sabby!
its gonna be ur bday very soon! so happy birthdae!!!

happy birthdae to u!

[[ died ]]
[[ happy birthdae ]]

dying.
wan asked me to dye his hair. wish i could dye mine but its too short. so is every1 else's. its so boring sitting here and not doing anithing. y did i have to be so active... if i do sports i'll be easily tired and if i dont i'll be bored and we guys cant go out everydae... so its better to get a job then sitting here. after we get pay then we could have some fun. must treat friends to food. and stuffs....

wat to get after few monthly pay.
ixus 7
ipod nano
swatch
snare and ride.
mayB a v3.
new xbox games.

i dont ask for many things... just these. are 6 things to many?.... well seems like i have to wait..........

[[ werk. where are u? ]]
[[ 6 things. ]]

went out.
woah. went out at 11 and now blogging at 2:31 am. tis is the life. aniwaes went out wit faizal and shazwan. it was fun. went to have supper at central. we talked and luffed. it was fun. faizal had his hair bald. was bullied by us loads of time... then we went to his house to watch a movie. first of all it was suppose to be dawn of the dead then we decided to watch corspe bride. who's all dressed in white. i made a poem abt that it was at the tip of my tounge and i forgot it. MTV's poem was nice.

the movie was quite nice. the ending was predictable tts all. but the twist and the brides and stuffs.... nice movie. well gonna play a game or 2. wanna get sims and something else. but most important the sims. damn its been long since i played it.

SAB! and WAN!
its gonna be ur bday soon! the octo's so see u guys soon!

[[ happy birthdae ]]
[[ the dead bride ]]
[[ sims... and gigs ]]

Monday, October 10, 2005

going out was a fussy business.
went out chilled and came back. todae was fun. they shud open a piercing place near esplanade so we could chill there. i thot we could watch the sunset and chilled. and go home to break--fast. but instead we went to orchard and walked around and jun jie bought a nice ear ring. im gonna pierce my lips. then i can buy 1. cant wait to pierce. jun jie and warren are my piercing kakis. they did ears. the earlope rite? i dont noe but its the top of the ear. shud i pierce there too? i dont noe...

fridae.
its graduation dae. i dont noe if i wanna go. we'll see. well im gonna eat.

[[ pierce and feel the pain. ]]
[[ tear me away from u ]]
[[ found something sharp. ]]

outings.
gonna meet broken/lost and white star soon. stars.... and loads of others. its pool again then we're going to town for some enjoyment. its fun when u go out. its been 2 daes... family shits on sundae. well cant wait to jam. i got a cd of mike portnoy playing. gosh damn it. he's the 2nd drummer i like. the first 1 is travis barker. i mean i salute their play. travis... he's actually a jazz player then he got into skool band playing marching and band thing. he took over blink's 1st drummer and had to learn 20 songs in 1 hour which he did. salute them.. i do...

jam.
i got some new rythms to put in. just dont have our band! u all dont wanna jam ar? jam la. tsk u all ar. nvm la i jam alone. i cant wait to get a freaking drumset. can improvise. mayb i'll just get practice pad. well.. if not i'll just go and jam. wit other pple. but alone seems nice. can play my jazz mixed rolling rock beat. the crash gotta be nice if not the song sucks. enuff abt drumming.

graduation.
graduation this fridae. they gonna put the pictures me and shine took of our klass b4 our exams. so its kinda weird. well i hope u guys are going. cos after that i tink i wanna bowl at east coast. then i have to meet some guys for floorball stuffs. then if u all want we can jam. okies so anithing jsut call.

[[ mike portnoy ]]
[[ scott philips ]]
[[ travis barker ]]
[[ hopefully felix. ]]
[[

Sunday, October 09, 2005

music.
my family doesnt favour music. the think its freaking noise. percussion. they want me to play freaking classicals. i dont favour it. damn. well aniweas. i have 4 sis. tts not important.. wat is... that all my bro-in-laws have a music background. i have 3.... 2 of em played in a band. my first bro can play the keyboard. 2nd can sing and the third can rock on strings. he wanted to jam wit me at ah boon. a freaking pearl drumset is there. gonna get a feel of it soon. we talked like hell abt music. damn cant wait. becos of him.. he is making my parents understand my love for percussion.

my sis went to geylang wit the hubby to get some food for our breaking of fast and there was tis guy playing the conga for them. and she knew i played drums. she didnt care nor hate. so she asked if i could. i said yea. josh thot me some of it. so i can play. just give me the beat. kinda fun.... i tink my female cuz can play wind..... not close 2 her though....

piercibng...
thnk u for wanting to follow me to the piercing place... where shud i pierce?

left?

right?

centre?

[[ jam ]]
[[ piercing ]]
[[ still breathless ]]

Saturday, October 08, 2005

tis is the continued story of the last entry.
rahim came to my house and then we went straight to the MRT station. i thot we were late, but no 1 was there. freaking shit. then soon after warren came so did jun jie. went to bedok to play pool again. then jia qing and you chuan came. yati couldnt come. so we played then had our breaking of fast and headed back cos yang, warren and jun jie were eating at KFC.

something crazy abt him.
We talked and then i noticed something freaking strange. a man was staring at me wit a lighter i thot wat the fuck is he gonna do to me. so i was very edgy. he keep staring at me for a long time then i asked jj and he said yar. then suddenly the guy came out of the KFC door and walked back rite in. jj said he was crazy he did tat abt 4 times b4 we came. i was like okay! tis is fun. then he stared outside. and came rushing out and beating the thin air. like he was punching some1 but there wasnt ani1. we luffed. damn it he relie was a crazy person. then after finished eating we went out to chill and waited for shikin b4 we head for esplanade. then tis guy from outside stared at us. i was freaking out and the guys said if he hurt ani 1 of us we would bash him up i dont mind there's a dustbin rite infront of me. then he was pulling something. an air knife. damn it i thot it was real and we luffed. he was freaking weird. so i decided to take some pics of him. lazy to upload. next entry i'll show. then he went out. rahim followed me as a back up. we took. then we came back rahim like scared him but he didnt move abit! god! rahim scared him asshole wat if he freaked out and wacked u! dick head.

shikin went back and we went to esplanade. played truth or dare. not the wild 1. just the crazy 1. so boring. i tink at the pit the will wanna play the wild 1. im not gonna join u guys cos i'll be freaking cooking ur food! gonna spit in some of urs. or cook it wit sand or something....

we chilled there for awhile. then we out to town. played. we went to a clubbing spot. asked for ics... we were let in. i tink its 16 and above. fun fun. but we didnt buy ani drinks and soon after we went out. looking for shops... we wanted to head to substation for some chillings. but then i tink its closed. thot wanted to watch movie but all of us overspent our $$. had DRINKS and went to suntec. walked around went to acrade which closes at 2am. we didnt hang there till 2 though. after all that we went to take a bus home and warren didnt noe how to read the 24 hour timing and he said that the bus will come soon cos we just missed a bus. but tt was our last bus we didnt noe until i had checked the bus timing again. it was 2302. we waited till 0030! warren! so took a cab and all of us agreed to go jamming.. at motherfreaking last!... so we're going jamming later. i reached home at abt 0045. wasnt scolded cos im not studying animore! bro came back and slapped my head as usuall he tinks i take drugs or something which i dont! fukc him! then i slept. i dreamed every 1 was wearing a suit. like as if we're going to prom. i tink i have to go for my check up at IMH. bye! im off.

[[ werk. ]]
[[ drinks ]]
[[ gig ]]
[[ warren. tsk. ]]
[[ imh? ]]

Friday, October 07, 2005

yea!
i just finished my n's! gosh the feeling was great. time to let the fucking party animal out of me.... oh so cant wait. shits fridae got graduation for the seniors. tts me. its a moment for the so called emo boy to be happy. meeting the guys soon. playing pool for awhile then soon after orcadh damn it i dont noe how to spell how the fuck did i passed my prelims.

strange.
when i was doing my maths there were songs ringing in my head. ghost of u. time is running out. move along. too bad there's no iron maiden... im getting crazier by the minute.... well to all my favoured juniors see u ard.. and good luck for ur o's and n's... tech dudes need help call me aite...

[[ its fucking over ]]
[[ crospe bride ]]
[[ party animal and piercing my lips. ]]
[[ left right center and tounge! after ramadan. i gotta fufill my pusa. ouh yar vodka too. ]]
[[ fuck u all! ]]

yesterdae'
met you chuan and rahim at macs and went to the MRT station. we were suppose to go to the airport and study wit kah chai and stuffs. but you chuan had a better idea. pool. we went to bedok. suppose you chuan wanted to go to downtown east to play there. too bad young little felix wasnt 16. well he's gonna be soon. we then headed to play. 1 st match you chuan VS faliq. of course i won. then rahim played. i gave him some chance of course. a beginner. in the end i won. so tired of playing i lost to you chuan and wanted to play cs. then i came across a pool table. flashback. remembered. damn. i couldnt get a hold of myself. y cant i.... the we headed to the airport. and i didnt studied at all. i went there to get my prelims paper 2. cos paper 1 was the same. so went there got my things. talked and chatted wit then. you chuan was so irreligious. but he was joking so its okay. aniwaes warren wanted to go back for a game of pool. so guess wat. we went. i still couldnt get a hold of myself. i was late for tution too.. so after i beat warren i went home. so sad.

got home sweating.
did tution and my tution teacher had to break his fast at my home. aniwaes he's fun. hard to get a tution teacher like that. still. after we had dinner went out to KFC for more studying. we studied from 8 + till 12 i tink. but we ate first. KFC at kallang rocks. first of all its KFC. and the bikes. damn it. i love going there everytime. there were harleys. and some racing bikes like the hayabusa and zx-12 and of course the R1 and fireblade. these are just some of the bikes there. the harleys were thundering after they finished eating. soon after the race gang gone. it was damn freaking cold there. ouh yar. there were free re-fills there too. u guys shud noe.

todae.
morning im blogging.
exams are coming.
time for me to study. its the last paper for n's.. and they finished it off wit maths. so im okay wit that. cant wait. i wanna finish it. and hopefully score for it. then soon after go for wild partys and outing. ani1 wanna come?

anonymous.
hmm. anonymous who are u? u might just be a student or a teacher. she might be a teacher. damn it who gave my links to the teacher? are u a teacher?

[[ pool? todae? ]]
[[ i cant hide it. cant break it. ]]
[[ stolen glances. ]] [[ used to adore ]]
[[ last paper. ]] [[ wish me luck ]]
[[ anonymous ]] [[ who are u`? ]]

Thursday, October 06, 2005

gonna study.
studying at the airport soon. aww its gonna be burger king. tsk. how can i resist the smell when im fasting. but i can... after studying i have tution then self revision soon after which i will fall asleep and wake up to go for fridae prayers. gonna take a cab back to skool i m so afraid i'll be late. i tink im ready for the paper2. i thot i will never sae this....

fridae.
its gonna be the last dae that i will ever see my friends in uniform and short hair. same fer me. its gonna be pple wit long nice hair. alittle bit highlighted for me but warren would wanna do a purple and red dye style. okay warren have fun. might join u. after fridae its down to orchard road for an all niter. its singles nite out. fun wouldnt it?... i hope all the guys and gals we asked will go out. i might join u all straight away after we changed or after breaking my fast. here comes the bride all dress in white but how do u marry a woman who's dead? we're gonna watch that. and soon after hard core partying and drinking. i tink i'll stick to becks not alcoholic drink for awhile or mayB sprakling wine.... while u overaged pple drink vodka. like real. mayB during the pit. nicey nice. i saw this coming. i felt something bad happen...

todae when i woke up i heard these werds ringing in my head.
{i shall remember wat u said to me}
{i shall not forget wat u did to me}
{i felt wat u said behind of me}

mayB it was just a movie. mayB... i dont noe. i was watching awhole lot of movies yesterdae. alot. and i didnt study. well aniwaes i have to go and meet those guys at the airport.

[[ hope u guys pass ]]
[[ those words... where did i got them? ]]
[[ things havent end just yet. ]]
[[ thinking of me? hak! ]]

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

king of fools.
todae was okay. the paper of cpa and eoa. cpa was just too easy. im glad. eoa was alittle tough but otherwise okay. dont wanna be like u. its was good cos cpa was in the wee morning and eoa early afternoon. so its kinda fun i got home and used the computer and studied alittle then went back.

almost killed myself during parkour.
i was trying to stand on the light post and the thing was stable it broke and i feel ass first. hurt my tailbone. was doing my exams and thinking of my ass. i nearly hit my head and parts. my friend said that i some how twist my bod so that i didnt hit head first or neck. well tis aint gonna stop me from doing crazy things. got to climb on the school main stairs and jump down as well. climbed the skool toilet from the washing area. got to wall run on the dentist van and newly painted walls. jumped over tables. and now i wont be able to do that wit my friends animore. its sad. as i am already. but its okay. as long as we still contact. ouh yar guys tmr is 10 am at the airport. dont be late. and good luck for fridae.

fridae.
they planned to go out on that dae after our exams. i would too. we would finish our exams at 3+ or 4. then its goodbye coral. and hello orchard. we're going out. mayB as a class mayB wit the worthy ones. the whole dae there. kewl.. i wanna sleep there! nah. i tink i cant. works interviewing. after that then i'll join u all.

[[ breathless ]]
[[ may angles eat u in. ]]
[[ thnks for being my friend ]]
[[ orchard. see u there ]]

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

hey.
just finished my maths paper 1. dont wanna talk abt it... aniwaes studying here and there. cant get enuff. yesterdae at the airport the all went off 1 by 1. so its just me rahim you chuan shining and kah chai.
had a relie bad dae. my ipod dropped. and chille went on to my shirt. couldnt study. and was so fucking stressed up. you chuan and rahim comforted me. i went out for a stroll and cooled down. after studying we went home then shining's fone dropped onto the track at the airport MRT station. then the door closed so we didnt had time to get down. had to went back and waited for a train at expo around there. while there the boys and i meant boys. were talking abt ITE and wat we're gonna do after n's.... it was fun. went back told the officer then he told them to come back tmr. which is todae. i tink they're already there.

we made our way to tanah merah and you chuan suddenly got sick and wanted to vomit so i followed him to the toilet... then rahim came down to tell us that shinning and kah chai had left. so we decided to take a bus home. the bus was 12. then we talk2 again. while waiting for the buss. went up and we were still talking non-stop disscusing abt maths to wat q's will come out on the paper 1. which it did. whew. aniwaes we were talking till we reached katong. at first i didnt noe. then i remembered the place where i jammed once. so i asked rahim who said tis bus will go to pasir ris. we then went down and asked it will go pasir ris after 1 big round of singapore. so we went down! we were suppose to take the oppsite side! so we decided to take a walk at katong mall i tink tts wat its called. i decided to bring them to the jamming place where i said the cymbals sucked. which it fucking did. its like playing on fucking zinc. hate those cymbals. aniwaes they saw a group playing metallica. it was super nice. the lead singer was superb. salute! you chuan was super excited. tt was funny. then we walked around and went home...

studied.
studied till 12? then i fell asleep and i tink formulas were floating in my head. i still can do the sums easliy. aniwaes i tink i can answer all the formulas my friends ask. almost.i always get the trapezium formula wrong. fadzy thnks for helping ya!... thnks alot to those who wished me goodylicious luck! thnks u so much!.... i shall wish u good luck for ur o's!!!!!!

[[ thnks guys ]]
[[ jamming again? ]]
[[katong 12! ]]

Sunday, October 02, 2005

its here.
just tommorow. we'll be doing the exams of our lifes. the 4 years we been practicing and waiting for tis. and it starts tommorow. @ 8. my english paper. i can do english. its just maths. then im gonna practice my eoa and cpa stuffs. shits i dont relie wanna fail my maths... relie dont.but aniwaes.. i hope that i can just pass. 50 will do relie good. i would fail my eoa if i could pass my maths..... if only we had science...

aniwaes..
yesterdae was fun. studying like we never did. it was fun cos it was the 2nd time we went out. i noe its kinda funny. but here goes.... from sec 1 we didnt had respect for each other and didnt care abt feelings. we spilt into ethics. we became very racist. as time pass we became less racist and split into groups of nerds. malays chinese boys and gals. and we didnt care abt each other. for 4 years we fought. for me it was alot of beating chinese boys. certain people. come to tink of it i wasted my time. chairs flew across the class. fights outside school. gangs were waiting. it was scary if u didnt had a weapon wit u. police cases. and theft. those were the things we did. i stop stealing when i was in pri 4. used to still loads of things...

but now i dont. so u guys shouldnt too. then sec 4. we were all okay. doing our own things. and then i went to warren and talked. then yati came. tts how we got together. actually it was russell peters. gotta thank that guy. then we started to influence the others. like F.S, Brotherhood of the dragons. soon it was divided in half. half the class was fun the other half sucked. cos some of em dont wanna be fun. so fuck them. it came true. we became together. so its kind of a big thing. and next week. until fridae we wont be seeing each other that much. so its kinda sad. pple have cried... but yesterdae we plan that we shud go out very often. like sentosa. BBQ pit. teacher's wedding. movie buffs watchin movies. buying our proms suits and gowns. and alot of things then the last of all; celebrate new year's dae. as singles. execpt for shikin.. she has a boyfriend. so she's not single. but the rest are... warren's being disturb by a REAL crazy chick. for real! every time msging every minute. i thot it was weird. warren did too. then we said mayB it was love! cos love makes u do crazy things. we luff. like we never did.... its sad that we wont be wearing any coral uniform... but its kinda fun! cant wait to go back to skool. taking my cert. cant wait. seeing those pple trapped in that skool i will laugh my lungs out..

[[ it's not the end ]]
[[ will meet ]]
[[ goodbye pple and school ]]