Tuesday, September 13, 2005
conversations between suicidals can be fun to us but not to those who arent suicidal. u can just ask kelson. huh dude? all the razors the time slitting wat type of razors. i prefer the razor i just bought and stuffs.... its kinda meeting ur own pple.... i used to be told or tell by or to others wat to use and how... its kinda nice talking to them... aniwaes i wanna learn how to tie a noose... does ani1 noes?
cutting.
sliting or cutting urself doesnt hurt when u're damn freaking sad and u wont noe how freaking deep u cut till u realise u lose too much blood. remember the poem i did? i tittled it blood? it was a man who was living a life of a loner and i decided to write abt him... he had aids. and my life compared to him... mine was much much more better. and living my loved and hated ones didnt seem to bother me but now it does... i mean who's gonna talk to jason. a friend of mine who alwaes asks me for help even though he can solve it himself and shits like that. and those whom i hate... who's gonna hate them and make remarks abt them... rite infront of their face's... who's gonna do silly stuffs on the mrt or at orchard road? who's gonna wash the fucking fish tank? who's gonna call my name 50 times? just becos its the sister's birthdae and im the fucking youngest...
pple tell me tis is part and parcel of life. and to my dearest friend out there. thnks for making realise all this and bringing me back to life... alot of pple asking me not to hurt or even kill myself. but i just cant help it.. afiqah.. everydae u pester me not to do it.. and u been a friend since our primary school daes... damn those were the times... aniwaes gonna miss. and thanking u....
still i cant help it.... the sadness felt by me... it cant be measured. but im holding on... so shud all the suicidals of whom are my friends... stop cutting urself or headbanging. mayB after n's but not now la...
and i noe its hard to resist. i mean thats my last resort. i make myself do things to make me forget. mostly sports. music. studie. yes studie. games. friends. and smoke. but u guys dont smoke so dont try my shit.
i noe how it feels. losing interest in life. becos the very 1 u love decided to make a decision that will shock u forever. and no matter how hard u try to forget it; u just cant. bcos of some shit... i have my reasons. so shud u guys. i dont wanna sound like i never did it or dont wanna do it. but u guys shud try.. if u cant take it.. just fcuking cry. and if u're so strong live on without the razor. i cant. but floorball is helping me. family is part of shits sometimes skool. rite now im trying to forget it and move.. its hard.. but slowly u will. so if u wanna cut just dont do it deeply.. then u'll feel warm wet and sticky. and if u die in ur own hands in ani religion its a sin.. a big 1. its a nono. so die in gods hands. its not ur time. if u wanna hurt urself go play rugby or something. and if u cant take it try smoking. its cost money though. but take it as a last resort. make sure u're 18.
[[ the razor. a last resort. ]]
[[ i suck. i dont reap wat i sew. so if u wanna cut go ahead. cos i just did ]]
[[ im not me animore. ]]
PROFILE
faliq
.|.the.|.heart.|.broken.|.
.|.age.|.Sweet 16....
.|.d/o/b.|. remember remember.. the 1st of november...
.|.sign.|.scorpio
.|.autobiography.|.
.|.love.|.music, Drums, Snare, movies, nature, Blue, red, purple, white, black, Burple, shoes, friends, art, reading, Percussion, floorball, rock climbing.
.|.hate.|.dumbasses, jackasses, boundaries, being told what to do, people who brag about themselves constantly, mean people, cicadas -shudder-, Critising and those who pick on the weak....
.|.currently.|.
-talking to: nobody
-listening to: And then i turned seven. *
-watching: the world going by me....
-thinking:
abt life.
-wanting: the best
-iming: nobody
-surfing: the usuall.
-obsessing: music, percussion, cameras.
-wants: nothing.
